Page 37 of The Ghost of You

She speaks quietly, barely loud enough for me to hear. “I think we all need a distraction from life. I know I do.” She pauses. “Where do you go when it gets too hard? When you can’t take it anymore. When you feel like it’s all just going to fall apart?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have to have something else other than this remodel. A place that makes it all go away. All the pain and sadness and regret.”

I don’t know how she can tell that regret and sadness eat away at me. I shrug. “Do you mean like your music room?”

She shakes her head. “To me, music is my job. I mean a place that no one knows about. A place you can truly get away.”

“I guess not. I’ve just used this house as my getaway. What about you?”

She looks back out the window. “I guess it’s yoga now, but I used to have a place that no one knew about. This tiny little cabin on an island outside Hilton Head. It was this awful lime green color with these hot pink shutters. It was right on the ocean. I loved waking up to the sound of the waves in the morning, the kiss of salt in the air. I wrote my best music there.”

“Why don’t you go back?”

“It was ruined for me.”

When she glances back at me I see the sadness in her eyes that appeared briefly a few minutes ago. Her hand is inches from mine as we both pet Brutus. I reach out and grab it, squeezing it lightly. I don’t really have any words to say and I don’t think she needs to hear any.

Right now all we need is this connection. An unspoken realization between the two of us that we are both seeking a solution to the pain that bogs us down, buries us deep underground, gasping for breath at times to find a way out.

Brutus jumps off the couch, breaking our connection. Anna stands up, pushing loose hairs that fell out of her bun behind her ear.

“I should go,” she whispers.

I get off the couch and stand in front of her. I take the glass out of her hands and set in on the coffee table. I close the distance between us, my mind not connecting with what my body is doing. I bring my palm to her cheek and close the gap between us even more so there are only inches between us. I run my thumb over her lip and can feel her shock from the touch. I am close enough to tell her heart rate is picking up. Her cheeks warm at my touch and I know neither of us is sure what is going to happen. My mind races as fast as my heart with the way she is looking at me. Like she needs me, needs this. And I need it too. I would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t.

She closes the space between us. Her eyes search mine. I know she is trying to find an answer to whatever the hell this is. But I don’t think I even have one.

My other hand grabs the other side of her face as her hands hesitantly move to my chest. We are both breathing heavier, waiting for the other to close the distance.

I can feel her breath on my lips as I lean forward. Smell the sweetness of the wine on her breath. She licks her lips and I find myself mesmerized by her tongue sweeping across them.

Just as I am about to close the distance, Brutus starts barking loudly at something outside, killing the moment between the two of us.

She steps away from me, looking anywhere but at me. “I need to go.”

“Anna.”

She shakes her head at me as she turns and heads to the door. “This is a bad—we can’t. I can’t.” Her right hand reaches for the necklace around her neck, her knuckles turning white as she grips it hard. “I’ll s—see you later.”

She’s out the front door before I can stop her. I follow her out the door and stand on my unfinished porch as I watch her unlock her front door and go inside.

I head back into my own home and Brutus comes waddling up to me.

“Mood killer,” I tell him, but he just sits in front of me lifting his paw.

I scratch behind his ear before heading up the stairs. “Come on, boy. Another night of you and me.”

11

Anna

I can’t believeI almost kissed Noah last night. I’m not sure either of us were thinking. I don’t even know how it almost happened. We were just talking. Plain old talking like you do with everyone else. Nothing special.

Who am I kidding?

There was something there. Some weird connection we both felt. Maybe that is why I have always had an attraction to him. Maybe my body knew before my mind did that we held a connection. I still have no freaking clue what it is. But I know it’s there. I think we both do. He said he wanted a distraction. That was the reason he is remodeling his house. Well maybe that’s what I need to. A distraction for me to forget about the mess of my own life. To push Kyle as deep down into the recesses of my mind that he can go.

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