Page 73 of The Ghost of You

“You think you are the reason she left you?”

He nods.

I grab his chin and force him to look up at me. “You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“I know. But that’s why it’s so hard to let you in.”

I understand what he means. And this is probably the reason we will never work. So I change the subject. “Your brother asked me out.”

His eyes snap to mine. “No.”

I push him away from me and stand up. “No? Are you telling me I can’t go out with him?”

“Yes.”

“You just said you can’t be with me because it’s too hard to let me in.”

He sighs as he walks back up to me. “I think I want to try though.”

I scoff at that. “You think you want to?”

He pulls on the short strands of his hair. “This is hard for me, Anna.”

“And you don’t think it’s hard for me? I lost my fiancé. I hardened my heart to love. You know that. And here I am finally offering my heart to you. For us to see what we can be and you won’t take it.”

“I just need more time.”

“I can’t wait any longer, Noah.”

“Please don’t go out with Mason.”

“It’s too late. I already told him yes.” I lie. I head back to the door to head into the building.

“Anna?” Noah pleads.

I turn around and look at him but don’t say a word as I head back into the building.

I don’t see Noah come back in. He never rejoins Mason’s party so I can only guess he snuck out and went home.

The next day I go to the studio to work on music with Mason and tell him he can take me out when we are done.

18

Noah

I pace my living room.If the carpet on the floor didn’t already have holes in it, I would have worn them in any way.

Mason so kindly texted me that I was an idiot two hours ago. He said he was taking Anna out on a date because I was too much of a pussy to get over Claire and be with Anna.

I know it’s my fault. I told Anna last night that I wanted her but that I couldn’t move on after Claire.

Truth is, I am being a goddamn idiot. Just like mom told me I was.

I punched a hole in my wall after Mason told me he was taking Anna out for dinner.

I know I will never move on. I will continue to live with her ghost if I don’t allow myself to try with anyone else.

But I don’t want to try with just anyone. I want Anna.

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