Page 13 of Twice in a Lifetime

I remembered him being so strong when we’d been together. He’d been tall and broad, with arms that made me feel so safe when he held me, but the man standing before me was even bigger. His thighs filled out his dark-washed jeans, and the simple white tee pulled tight across his chest and stretched around his arms, showcasing a walking wall of muscle. There was nothing particularly attractive about jeans and a plain white tee, but somehow, Rhodes made it look almost sinful.

And of course my ex would look gorgeous only the second time I saw him while I was a rumpled, exhausted mess. I was still in my scrubs from work, my hair—which I hadn’t even bothered to run a brush through that morning—was thrown upinto a sloppy ponytail that was more ratty than artful, and I was pretty sure the mascara I’d swiped on this morning—the only makeup I’d bothered with—was smudged beneath my eyes. Hell, I couldn’t even remember if I’d put on deodorant earlier that morning.

I was well and truly a mess while Rhodes looked like the type of man women would walk into traffic for, just to get his attention.

The heavy soles of his motorcycle boots clomped against the floor as he closed the distance between us. “Hey, little man,” he started, gracing my son with a straight, white smile. “Had a bit of an accident, huh?” Avett regarded Rhodes curiously but didn’t say a word, and I patted myself on the back for having successfully taught my kids not to talk to strangers. “I’ve been there.”

Avett’s brown eyes widened. “You have?”

Looks like I spoke too soon, I thought to myself.

“Sure. I managed to drop a whole jar of pickles just last month. Not only did it make a mess, but it stunk too.”

Avett let out a little giggle, and the sound froze me to the spot. The sensation that rushed through my chest was somehow pleasant and painful at the same time. That giggle was a good sign. It was a sound I hadn’t heard nearly enough over the past several months, so hearing it hurt as much as it healed. It was bittersweet and joyful in one breath.

Ainsley had rebounded well enough after her father’s death, but that was to be expected, given her age. But while she was handling it okay, my boy had been struggling.

Avett and Elliott had been so close, and there wasn’t a day that passed that he didn’t miss his father something fierce. With every loss like the one he’d suffered, a hole formed in his heart that would never fill back up. Some people handled it better than others. Avett was somewhere in the middle. He had his gooddays and his bad, but I still wished I could take all the bad away for him. I would have gladly added his sadness to everything I was already carrying if it meant I’d have my bright, happy boy back for good.

“I like pickles.”

“Me too, buddy. But I like eating ’em. Not smellin’ like ’em.”

“Yeah,” Avett agreed. “They can be kinda stinky.”

“Sure can.” Rhodes shifted his gaze from my son to me, and being hit with those brown eyes nearly stole the air right out of my lungs. I’d avoided eye contact the whole time I was stuck in that office with him at Alpha Omega, but I hadn’t been fast enough this time, and as I stared at my past across the aisle, I felt like I was drowning. The brown was several shades lighter than Avett’s and Ainsley’s. The flecks of gold and green mixed with the brown made them look almost amber, and I knew from experience that, in the sun, they’d appear to catch fire and take on a shade closer to red clay to match the streaks of auburn in his dark hair. For three years I’d gotten lost in those eyes. For three years I thought those were the only eyes I’d ever love.

I had been wrong.

“You guys need a hand?”

That question snapped me out of my head and back into reality. “We’re fine,” I insisted. “I just need to find someone who works here?—”

I didn’t even get the whole sentence out before Rhodes leaned over and scooped Avett up like he weighed next to nothing, plucking out of the center of the spill and depositing him back on the ground at a safe distance.

“Thanks,” I said quietly, pushing down the fluttery feeling in my belly at the sight of Rhodes lifting my son into his arms. I told myself it had nothing to do with him, that I would have had the same reaction to any attractive man hefting my kid about.It wasn’t aboutRhodes,per se. It was simply my body’s primal reaction.

Rhodes smiled then, and I took that flutter and began to stomp it to death. “Not a problem at all.”

Just then, a woman came scurrying around the end cap and into the aisle. She wore a maroon polo that sported the name of the grocery store on her chest and a pair of khaki pants. “Heard we had a bit of a spill—” Her words died off as I turned to face her fully. Even in a uniform that should have been unflattering, it was impossible not to notice her beauty. She had light brown hair and pale blue eyes, and just enough curves to make me envious. I’d always been bummed I hadn’t gotten my mother’s ultra-curvy frame, and instead, was willowy. A tense few seconds of silence alerted me to the fact that, while I’d been taking stock of her, her focus had been latched onto the man slowly rising to his full height once again.

“Rhodes,” she said in a breath that managed to drip with both pain and longing. “H-hi.”

I looked back to Rhodes just in time to catch something that looked a lot like guilt flashing across his features before he blanked it out. “Grace,” he greeted with a tilt of his chin and a gentle smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. The tone of his voice wasn’t overly friendly, but it wasn’t cold either. Just polite enough, like if Goldilocks had to pick a tone that wasjust right. However, I didn’t miss the familiarity in his voice that made my stomach feel sour all of a sudden.

“Um . . . how are you? How’s Koda?”

“I’m good, thanks. And Koda’s Koda. Just living her best life.”

Grace’s expression changed just then, her features suffusing with a kind of warmth and softness that made me uncomfortable. “That’s good. I really miss... her.” She fumbled over that last word.

Rhodes cleared his throat awkwardly, his gaze ping-ponging between Grace and me so obvious that it drew her attention my way.

She blinked like she hadn’t realized I was standing right there the whole time. “Oh, hi!” She replaced her earlier expression with a professional smile.

“Hi. I’m really sorry about the spill.”

“Don’t sweat it. Happens all the time.” She extended her hand for me to shake. “I’m Grace, the manager here.”

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