Page 17 of Twice in a Lifetime

His eyes went bigger. “What was it like?”

Adeline chimed in then. “Did you ever have to deal with bad guys?”

That caught Ainsley’s attention. “Was it scary?”

Rhodes chuckled like he was taking their questions in stride, but I didn’t miss the way the skin around his eyes tightened with discomfort.

“It was scary at times, yeah. And unfortunately, I did have to deal with some bad guys. But I signed up for that because I wanted to help keep people safe. It was important to me, and that’s exactly what I did.”

Something told me there was a lot more he wasn’t saying, but it wasn’t my place to push, not anymore. No matter how badly I might have wanted to know.

“Cool,” Avett said on a breath. “I wanna be a soldier when I’m grown up.”

The tines of my fork scraped loudly across my plate at that declaration, every muscle in my body growing tight as fear knitted around my lungs and squeezed. The past six months hadbeen bad enough. I didn’t need my kids trying to force me into cardiac arrest.

“Why don’t we talk about what you’re going to be when you grow up in another decade,” I suggested. “By then maybe you’ll see the value of being an accountant. Or a dentist.” I never heard of a dentist dying on the job.

His face scrunched up, the holes from his missing teeth reminding me he was still my little boy—at least for a little while longer. “No way! Dentists are theworst. And I don’t wanna have to smell people’s stinky breath every day.”

He had me there. Looked like I was going to have to push the accountant gig hard when he got older.

“I’m gonna train tigers when I grow up!” Ainsley proclaimed loudly.

I dropped my fork onto my plate. “Okay. How about you guys clear the table before you give your mom a heart attack? Dishes in the sink, then you can have thirty minutes of screen time before showers.”

They grumbled as they cleared the table, but they still did it, so I considered that a win.

As soon as the dishes had been dumped in the sink, the three of them took off to different parts of the house. I didn’t realize my mistake until Rhodes came into the kitchen behind me, carrying his own plate and wine glass as I turned on the water.

“There anything I can help with?” he asked, his presence shrinking the space around us. That had always been the case when we were younger. There was just something about him that filled all the tiny spaces in every room he entered. His presence was unavoidable and intoxicating. He’d been formidable when we were kids, and that had only grown stronger since. I didn’t think I could handle being alone with him for any amount of time.

“Oh, no. That’s not necessary.” I cast a small smile over my shoulder, hoping it didn’t look as fake as it felt. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do?—”

I knew he wasn’t going to make this easy on me when he pushed his sleeves up, revealing even more of those thickly carved forearms. “Not at all. Besides, you cooked, it’s not fair for you to have to handle cleanup too.”

Something painful stabbed into the center of my chest. A familiar burn formed behind my eyes as I lowered my head and stared down into the sink. With Elliott’s betrayal having come to light, it was easy to lose sight of all that I had truly lost, but it was times like this that I was reminded, when the good of the past slammed into me like a freight train.

Elliott had always insisted on cleaning up after dinner. I cooked, he cleaned, that was how it had always worked. Until it didn’t. Until I lost my partner, the person who had always been there to help me carry the burden so I didn’t have to do it alone.

“Hey.” Rhodes’ gentle voice yanked me out of my memories. He laid a hand on my arm, wrapping his fingers around my bicep tenderly to turn me toward him. “What just happened? Did I say something wrong?”

I sniffled, wiping my nose with the back of my hand as I shook my head. I caught the briefest glimpse of concern in his amber eyes, and it only made the tightness in my chest that much worse.

“No, it’s nothing. Really. I’m fine. It’s just...”

His finger came beneath my chin, lifting my gaze to his. It was something he’d done when we were together, whenever he wanted my attention on him, and the movement was so familiar it was painful.

“It’s just what? Blythe, talk to me. You can tell me anything.”

I pushed down the ache his sweetness caused. I couldn’t focus on that or I’d lose the already-fragile hold I had oneverything, sending me spiraling. I couldn’t afford to spiral, not when I was all my kids had left.

“Ever since I found those pictures...” I had to stop to swallow down the sickly taste of bile that slithered up my throat at the thought of thosefuckingpictures. “Since then, I’ve been so angry I’ve forgotten to be sad.” I shook my head and let out a sigh. “Then something will happen and I’ll remember that before I was mad, I was heartbroken.”

The look in his eyes was bad enough, but when he breathed out, “Angel,” it nearly killed me.

I took a step back, breaking contact. “Don’t,” I said in a ragged whisper.

Angelwas what he’d given to me when we were together, when we were so in love we were all the other could see.Angelwas special. It meant something. And he’d taken it away. He couldn’t just use it again whenever he felt like it.

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