Page 32 of Twice in a Lifetime

I setthe box I was holding down on the bed and looked around the room I’d be calling my own for the foreseeable future. Puffing out my cheeks, I blew a hard breath out past my lips as I tried to convince myself that this was the right decision.

“Am I making a huge mistake?” I asked Sunny when she crossed the threshold and put the box she was carrying down on top of the dresser.

She placed her hands on her hips and followed my gaze as I traced it along the pale sage green walls. “Well, even if you are, I’d say it’s too late to back out now. The guys already have theheavy stuff set up, and that was the last box. I don’t think any of them are gonna want to hear that you changed your mind.”

I shot my best friend a killing look. “Thanks a lot. You’re a huge help.”

She laughed and came up beside me, throwing her arm around my shoulders. “This isn’t a mistake, babe. It’ll be an adjustment, sure, but it’s not a mistake. If you’re second guessing, think about your kids’ faces when they saw their new rooms.”

I knew she was right. I’d felt it in my bones when Rhodes opened the door to Adeline’s bedroom, and my girl moved inside, standing in the middle of the space with the kind of smile I hadn’t seen from her in months. She needed this. Even more than my other children, my middle girl needed to be where she could close everyone else out and get lost in the quiet for a little while.

“Besides,” Sunny spoke, pulling me from my thoughts, “I’m pretty sure if you tried to separate Koda and Ains now, there’d be a mutiny.”

“I’m just scared,” I admitted on a whisper, blinking against the burn forming in the backs of my eyes. “I know this was the right choice for my children, but I don’t know if it was the right one for me.”

Sunny dropped her arm, coming to stand in front of me so she could take my hands in hers. “Oh, honey.”

“I mean, it’s him, Sun. It’s Rhodes. I don’t know if—” I stopped, swallowing against the tightness in my throat. “I don’t know if I can go there again.”

“Hey.” She waited for me to lift my gaze to hers. “No one is saying you have to, okay? This move isn’t about that. You’ve been through more in the past six months than any person should have to go through in their entire life. This doesn’t have to be anything more than a fresh start.”

“But what if he?—?”

Her fingers clenched around mine. “He’ll respect that. I know he will. Whatever you want—or don’t want—he’ll respect.”

I could see something dancing in her gaze. The wheels in her head were spinning. “Why do I have a feeling there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

She grinned, letting out a little giggle. “But,” she said teasingly, “if youdiddecide you wanted to see where things went with my brother, you wouldn’t hear any complaints from me.”

“Sunny,” I said in a warning tone, stepping away and dropping my head back with an exasperated groan.

“I’m not trying to pressure you.” She held her hands up in surrender. “I’m not even going to mention how I always wished you could be my sister.”

A sound a lot like a small grown rumbled from my chest. “You really aren’t helping.”

“I’m kidding!” she laughed, then, a second later, the humor died away. “Neither of you are the same people you were back then, B. I’m not going to make excuses for what he did when you were younger. I still want to kick his ass whenever I think about it. But he’s changed. So have you. You were the softness he needed back then to round out his hard edges, but... maybe, this time around, he can be the softness you need.”

I raised my brows. “Are you saying I’ve gotten hard?”

Her eyes filled with sympathy. “Honey, there’s no way a person can live through what you’ve lived through and not harden at least a little.”

I sniffled, hating how right she was. I didn’t feel like the same person I’d been before Elliott died. “But... what if I can’t bring myself to trust him again?”

“There isn’t a woman in the world who wouldn’t understand that. But you don’t have to give that out freely. It’s his job to earn it.”

For the millionth time in my life, I thanked whatever higher power had brought Sunny into my life and made her my best friend.

“When did you get so damn smart?”

“Puberty, I think. It was the strangest thing. It makes us girls smarter, but it turns boys into dumbasses.”

I let out a laugh and pulled her into a hug, grateful beyond belief that she had the power to make me laugh, even in the hard times when I didn’t think it was possible.

Chapter Seventeen

Rhodes

Less than a second after a knock sounded on my office door, it was pushed open and Marco came sauntering in. He sat in the chair across from me, casually leaned back, and kicked his cowboy boots up on the edge of my desk, all without saying a word.

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