Page 36 of Twice in a Lifetime

“I’m really happy here.” Her expression grew inquisitive. “Are you happy here?”

“I am,” I answered honestly, my voice thick with emotion at the realization I’d done right by my children by moving them here. “Sleep good, snuggle bug.”

When I got to Avett’s room, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring unseeing at the wall across from him. I rapped my knuckle on the doorframe before stepping inside. He blinked his eyes clear and looked up at me, his features drawn together with sadness. “Hey, buddy. Everything okay?”

He lowered his head, his fingers tangling together in his lap. I pushed away from the door at the sound of his sniffle and rushed to him, sitting down on the bed beside him. A single tear fell and dripped down onto his pajama pants. “Oh, honey.” I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him against me. “What’s going on?”

“Do you—?” He let out a stuttered breath that felt like a dagger right to my heart. “Do you think Dad’s up in heaven mad at me?”

The air whooshed out of my lungs when he tilted his head up at me, his velvety brown eyes glistening with tears. The ache in the center of my chest was a very real, physical thing. “Baby, why would you think he’d be mad at you?”

“Because I realized at dinner that I’m not as sad as I used to be. I don’t want him to think that I’m not sad ’cause I don’t miss him. ’Cause I still miss him.”

“Oh, baby. Of course, you still miss him.”

“Then how come I’m not sad anymore?”

My throat tightened, but I still managed to get out, “Well, that’s because you’re healing. You’ll miss your dad for the rest of your life, and some days you’ll feel sadder than others, but as time passes, your heart heals and you’re able to live your life and be happy and do all the things you did before.”

He sniffled again, wiping his cheeks dry with the back of his hand. “Is it like that for you?”

I smiled, shoving down the anger I still felt at Elliott’s betrayal. As hurt and mad as I was, I would never tarnish his memory. He might have turned out to be a terrible husband, but he’d always been a good father, and I wouldn’t take that away from them.

“Yes, baby. That’s what it’s like for me too. And for your sisters. And I’ll tell you something else I know.” I hugged him tighter. “Your Daddy’s up in heaven right now, looking down on you kids, and he’s so happy you and your sisters are healing. He never liked it when you guys were sad.”

“He didn’t,” Avett agreed. “He always said it made him sad too.”

“Exactly. He’d want you to be happy. The best way you can honor your dad’s memory is to grow up to live a long, happy life full of love and laughter.”

My son’s chest expanded on a deep breath as the sadness in his eyes faded away. “Okay, Momma. I’ll be happy because that’s what Dad would want.”

Lowering my head, I pressed my lips to Avett’s temple and squeezed my eyes closed as I breathed him in. “I think that’s a wise choice,” I finally said when I pulled away. “Now get some sleep, yeah? It’s been a long day.”

He crawled to the center of his bed so I could tuck him in. After another kiss, I flipped off his bedside lamp and startedfor the door. “I think Dad would really like Rhodes,” Avett said, drawing me up short.

I slowly turned, looking back at my boy from over my shoulder. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because he’s funny and smart and cool and he makes us laugh,” my insightful son said before showing just how wise he was by adding, “And you weren’t happy for a really long time. Then we came here to live with Rhodes, and you were happy again. If Dad would want us all to be happy, he’d have to like Rhodes, ’cause Rhodes makes you happy.”

I turned all the way around, taking in my son who was no longer a little boy. “I love you with all my heart. You know that? You and your sisters are the most important things in my life.”

He hit me with a snaggle-toothed grin that melted my heart. “Yeah, Momma. I know. I love you too.”

Chapter Nineteen

Blythe

Iheaded downstairs, in desperate need of a glass of wine after my conversation with Avett. I knew my son was smart, but he was much more insightful than I gave him credit for.

When it came to being a mom, I’d really lucked out. Maybe I was partial, but I couldn’t help feeling like I had the best kids on the planet.

My bare feet padded quietly against the floor as I moved to the kitchen for the bottle of wine I’d opened earlier with dinner. But instead of an empty kitchen like I expected, Rhodes stood at the sink, his back to me as he scrubbed the dirty dinner dishes.

He was dressed in a pair of light grey sweats that rested precariously low on his hips and nothing else. His hair was still damp from a shower, and beads of water dripped off the ends, trailing through the muscles that danced across his back as he moved around, scrubbing and rinsing and drying one dish at a time.

It was mesmerizing, and I couldn’t help but stare, transfixed, at all that hard, toned, tan skin on display. I knew Rhodes wasseriously built, but I had no idea a back could bethatripped. I wasn’t sure I’d survive if he were to turn around and give me a look at the front, but my curiosity was more than piqued. It refused to be ignored.

“You know, you didn’t have to do that,” I said, finally alerting him to my presence. He grinned playfully over his shoulder, and I had to lock my knees to keep from melting into the floor when he shot me a wink. “I intended to do those tomorrow. And I planned to use your dishwasher, not wash them by hand.”

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