Page 84 of Birdy

We don’t say anything for several minutes as we take each other in. I’m sure she’s wondering what the hell I’m doing here, and all I can seem to focus on is not reaching for her from across the cheap plastic surface separating us.

“What are you doing here?” she finally asks, arms folding across her chest.

There isn’t a set tone to her voice, but I feel the sadness. The anger. The confusion.

“I had to come see you,” I explain, leaning my elbows onto the table.

The roll of her eyes is like a sucker punch to the face. “How did you even get in here?”

“Had to pull some strings.” I’m glancing behind her at Rodriguez as I say this.

“With who?” She sounds dubious, dark brow arched pensively.

“Rodriguez.”

Benni’s eyes bulge, head jerking back slightly. “He knew?”

I nod. “He does now, for sure, but yeah, he had an inkling all along.”

“Wow…” She trails off, sneaking a peek at him from over her shoulder. When he smirks, she turns back toward me, cheeks an adorable shade of pink.

A small yet monstrously tense bout of silence falls between us then, eyes locked throughout. All I can wonder at that moment is what she’s thinking, what she’s feeling. She can’t hate me too much if she’s still sitting here, right?

“So, how’ve you been?” I press, hands itching with the need to reach out for her.

Benni shrugs and circles a finger through the air. “Considering where I am, good, I guess.”

“At least that makes one of us.” I hadn’t meant to say it. The words just made it out of my mouth before my brain could process.

Either way, she doesn’t like it, and most importantly—doesn’t buy it. “What are you doing here, Andrés? Seriously.”

“I had to see you.”

“Why? You had no problem cutting me off and leaving without saying goodbye, right?” Sucker punch number two, or maybe this is more like a swift kick in the balls.

Whichever one it is, it fucking hurts because all her response has proven is thatIhurther.I’m cringing on the inside, yet miraculously manage to keep my cool. “I had to.”

“Why?” Her eyes narrow.

“Because I was heartbroken, too, okay? I still am. I miss you so much, Benni, you don’t understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t.” She crosses her arms tighter, cocking her head aside. “Sounds like bullshit to me.”

“It’s not, I swear to you. I’m sorry.”

Scoffing a laugh through her nose, she looks out the window beside us. “Sure, you are.”

I can’t say I blame her for not believing me, but it doesn’t wound me any less, shooting me forward before I can stop myself. Pulling her arms apart, I grab her hands, squeezing them in the hope she’ll feel the verity of my words.

“I am, Benni. I’m so fucking sorry. There was so much going on at that time, I had to do it. We were risking too much—me with a possible arrest if they found out about us and you with early release. I’m guessing that’s off the table now after the phone, huh?”

Her gaze drops to our hands as she replies, “Actually, no. I’m still on track. Got five months left.”

“What?” I squeeze her again. “How?”

“When I told Judge why I had the phone, it hit close to home for him. His older brother, apparently, did the same thing when he was in prison. Their mom was terminally ill, and they couldn’t afford the charge rate per phone call, much less the money it would’ve taken to go visit him. He was on the other side of the country.”

Oh, wow.

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