Page 47 of On Circus Lane

“Was it you, Tom?”

“Maybe. We were trying to be sober, and Barbara called Jack into the front room to recite a Byron poem.” I pause. “In Mandarin.”

Freddy starts to laugh. “That’s got to be a piss-take.”

“Nope. Deadly serious, mate. I couldn’t even remember my first fucking name and fell over. Jack had to tell them I had an inner-ear problem. Which was just as well, because then I threw up in her Portmeirion flowerpot.”

He laughs harder, and I shove him.

We settle back on the sofa in a comfortable silence, which is broken when he edges closer. “You’re getting on well with Bee?”

I give him my best cool stare. “Isn’t getting on with everyone the point of this holiday?”

“Maybe, mate. What would I know? I mean, I thought it was about the birth of the Baby Jesus rather than shagging someone on holiday, but hey, if that’s the real reason for Christmas, then I say go for it.”

“I’m crossing you off my Christmas card list.”

“Which would be terrible if you ever remembered to send any.”

I give up and edge closer. “I don’t know what it is about him, Freddy.”

“I certainly do. He’s gorgeous, clever, and quirky. You were a goner as soon as he agreed to come on this holiday.”

“You’re probably right.”

“There’s no probably about it.” He eyes the threesome who are currently reading from the Gutterhead cards and giggling. Bee’s face is radiant, and he’s swaying as if in a high wind. “So, does he fancy you too?”

“Ah, that’s where the problem comes in.”

He wrinkles his nose. “He doesn’t fancy you? Well, that’s a surprise. He watches you all the time.”

“Does he?” That lovely thought diverts me until he flicks my nose. “Ouch.”

“Pay attention. What’s the problem?”

“Well, I think he sort of uses sex to keep people at bay.”

“Jack told me about the bloke in his flat.”

“Yes. I’m not shagging Bee. Yet,” I add quickly. “I mean I want to so badly, but I want to bedifferentto him.”

There’s a startled silence, and then Freddy starts to laugh. It’s loud and long, and the others glance at us curiously.

I clap him on the back.Hard. “And so that is what the actress said to the bishop,” I say loudly. Sal’s eyes narrow, but then she turns back to Ivy and Bee, and I relax. “What the fuck?” I hiss at Freddy.

He’s wiping tears from his eyes. “You’re the mostspecialperson, Tom. The gift that just keeps on giving.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment. Do you think waiting to shag him is a mistake?” I whisper.

He takes a while to consider the question. “Maybe,” he says.

“I waited minutes for that advice. What thefuck, Fred?”

“Well, I think it’s a good move at the moment. He’s seriously clever, and Ivy says he gets bored easily and is really stubborn about blokes. This way, he gets to know you, which is good, because you’re awesome and so much more than just nice hair and a careless attitude, no matter what Steven says.” I stare at him, and he continues quickly. “On the other hand, sex shouldn’t be a big deal. If you both want it, then go for it. We’re only here once.”

“Edinburgh or heaven?”

He claps me on the back. “There. See?”

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