Page 93 of On Circus Lane

“How lovely,” Sal says. “Maybe the cool water has shrunk your head. It’s getting a bit inflated again.”

He glares at her, and we start to walk to the car park. Tom looks as if he’s going to walk beside me, but when Jack says something he turns to his friend.

Ivy comes up next to me, and I grab her bag. She shoots me a grateful glance. “Did you get a chance to talk to him?”

I shake my head. “It’s not been the right time.”

“When is? Sixty years from now?” I stare at her, and she huffs. “Boys.”

“I’ll talk to him in the car.”

“And say what?”

“Oh mygod, Ivy, you want me to talk to him, and now I’m expected to know what I’ll say, too? Life is so complicated.” When she rolls her eyes, I insist, “I’ll talk to him!”

Steven positions himself by the passenger door when we get to the car. “I think I might get car sick today,” he says. “I’m sure you don’t mind me sitting in the front, Bee.” It’s said in a steely tone of voice that suggests I’d better not have a problem.

“Hang on,” Tom says. “Maybe he doesn’t want to sit in back.”

I exchange looks with him, feeling disappointed that I won’t be next to him. However, it’s mixed with a sense of relief that I now won’t have to think of what to say for a bit.

“I don’t mind,” I say quickly, jumping into the back seat quicker than a dog after a bone.

Ivy stares at me, and I grimace. “What was I supposed to do?” I whisper.

“Well, now you’re going to have to find a way to talk to him while we’re on the road.”

“Yeah, of course. I can’t see that being a problem.”

A few hours later, I shift in my seat, looking at the back of Tom’s head as he fights his way through the London traffic.

I’d wondered if we could talk when everyone fell asleep, but Steven appeared to be on a sponsored stay-awake campaign while talking loudly about his conference, which explains why I was the one who fell asleep, waking with a stiff neck and a bleary head.

I’d reassured myself that I could maybe talk to Tom when we took a break, but that didn’t work out either because his car started to overheat, and he spent the entire time at the services speaking to the man from the RAC. He’d given me a grateful smile that warmed me all the way through for the coffee I bought him, but that had been the extent of our interaction.

And now, we’re nearing my home, and I have no idea what to say or do. I should happily wave him off and feel relieved never to see him again, but the thought of doing that fills me with horror. Not to see his smile and hear his lovely voice. Not to curl up with him in bed at night or feel that funny calm I do around him as if he makes the world spin a little slower, so I don’t get so dizzy.

How can one person do that to me, and more importantly, how has that happened in a matter of days?

And that’s the thing. It has only been a few days. What if this is just a holiday romance, and when we get home, there’ll be nothing there? Maybe it’s best just to have this as a nice memory that will never end up hurting me.

I stare out of the window, watching the streets go by. They’re covered in snow, so we’re getting a white Christmas after all, butthe snow just reminds me of Circus Lane when we’d waltzed on a snow-covered street. Will everything remind me of Tom?

My thoughts go round and round in my head as my hangover pulses at my temples, making my brain feel slow and sluggish. I have a feeling I’m missing something important, but I can’t grasp it.

And then there’s no more time. Tom turns the car into my street and pulls onto my carpark. When he switches off the engine, Ivy wakes up with a start. “Huh? That’s very interesting, Steven,” she says and then hastily wipes her drool off my jumper.

“We’re here,” I say tersely, and her eyes widen.

Jack stirs from his sleep and blinks at me. “This is you?” he says. I nod. “It’s been lovely to meet you.” He shoots a look at Tom, which I don’t think I’m supposed to see, and then back at me. “Hopefully, I’ll see you again soon.”

My throat tightens, and I smile. “Hopefully,” I reply, but it sounds stiff—as if I don’t mean it. I offer him a one-armed hug over Ivy, and he pats my shoulder.

“I know we will, so I’ll just say see you soon.”

Steven offers me a casual wave and starts to look at his phone, so I gather he’s not echoing Jack’s sentiment. I climb out of the car and Ivy follows. I look up at my flat. It seems like years have gone past since I came out of here with that bloke whose name I can’t remember. And then Tom had said hello to me, and I’d glared at him.

The boot opens, and Tom climbs out of the car. “Hey,” he says, coming towards me.

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