Page 76 of My Rival for Christmas

My heart pounds against my chest, but I barely feel it. Can’t hear anything other than Nate saying he still loves me.

Loves.Me.

The words turn over and over inside me, knocking at all the locks I’ve hid behind. Unlocking each and every one until emotions that have scared me now consume me. My chest swells with them, this fullness that’s been missing. This purpose I’ve been searching for.

But it’s not something I was ever going to find with skating.

It’s something I can only find with him.

And now I know it’s a thing called love.

The feelings that inspire sonnets, that send men off to war—they’re here. Inside me. Wrapping around each and every organ, burying themselves so deep I’ll never be able to deny them again.

No longer able to hide.

Because I want to know what it’s like to live with Nate’s love. To feel it every day. If it’s always going to be this sweet, this fulfilling.

But most of all, I want to give Nate everything he’s quietly been waiting for.

I want to give him all of me, to shower him with these consuming emotions swarming me, wanting to break free. To take hold. To exist in the open with no fear, no restrictions.

I’ve always been the girl who’s run away from big emotions. The girl who’s always resisted change. When I first decided to escape to the mountains, it felt like my entire world was ending. That all the work and sacrifice I had poured into my twenty-year-long career had been wasted.

That I had nothing left to lose.

And maybe, that’s what I needed to get to this moment.

I needed to lose everything I thought I wanted to gain everything that I actually need.

To build my world anew.

Only this time, I won’t be doing it alone. I’ll have a six-foot-two infuriating tattooed man who stole my heart long before I ever knew it was missing by my side. The way we have always been meant to be.

Where do you want us to go from here?

The answer to Nate’s question comes easily, not even taking a second thought, as tears continue to roll down my face. It’s the only answer I could ever give.

But before I can actually say it, Nate lets go of the tight hold he’s had on me to cup my cheeks, wiping away my tears with slow strokes of his thumbs. “If you don’t have an answer yet, that’s okay. I can wait.”

He means it, too. That earnestness all but doubles, patience enveloping his words. He will wait for me as long as he has to.

But he’s waited long enough.

We both have.

We don’t have to wait any longer.

I’m ready. More than I’ve ever been ready for anything.

“I want to go wherever you are.” I drop any defenses I’m still hiding behind, showing him the truest emotions I’ve ever felt. My heart pounds in my chest, knowing this is the start of something new. There’s no going back. Not running away, but running towards the place I’ve been aching to return to, with feelings I’ve never allowed myself to embrace—but no longer going to hide from. “I’ve lived my life both with you and without you, and there’s no contest between the options. I want you, Nate. I want you in ways I didn’t know could hurt this much. My answer will always be you?—”

His mouth is on mine before I’m even done talking, and my knees nearly buckle under the desperate hunger fueling his strike. Like he’s afraid I’ll take the words back, and he wants to swallow them before I change my mind.

Chasing my tears away.Claimingme as his.

I moan under the force, the passion, as my body arches into his. At the feelings pouring out of him, introducing themselves to the emotions pouring out of me.

They tangle together in a violent rush, pulling between us tight enough that they can’t be unraveled.

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