Page 49 of By the Fae

I hid my smile behind my palm.Hecking shellfish? She thought that?That was the most Holly thing ever.

Dima nodded.And she still thinks I’m cute.

Okay, that’s enough for now, D.

You’re welcome, by the way.

I let out my breath. So, she didn’t think of me romantically. It was such an overwhelming relief. To know I wasn’t at risk of a human falling in love with me. That we could continue with our deal as planned.

For the rest of the meal, I made more of an effort to join in with the conversation, and found myself laughing along with Sugar Paste’s and Taur’s stories, even though I’d heard them all a hundred times before.

“Have you ever seen the movieBetter the Sex Demon You Know? That’s what movie the dress was in. It’s upstairs now, I’ll show you after dinner,” Sugar Paste was saying to Holly.

Going by the twitching of his wings, Mal and Dima were having a silent conversation, which I ignored. No doubt it was about Holly, or me, or us. But there would be no us. And it was as simple as that.

After dessert (vegan fudge cake) Joey took Holly upstairs to show her the outfit she was wearing when she fucked Taur for the first time, leaving the four men alone in the kitchen.

Mal’s eyes patiently followed the women, waiting a good ten seconds before speaking. Based on the look on his face, he was pissed. None of us dared fill the silence.

“Goldie,” he said, pleaded. “Please be careful. She’s adorable, and things could so easily go wrong for you.” If I didn’t know the incubus better, I’d say there were tears in his eyes. Okay, worse than pissed, Mal was upset. Maybe even disappointed.

Dima watched us quietly. Taur cleared the plates.

I had to choose my words carefully, because of course I did. “She’s in love with another man. She hates me. Dima can confirm.”

The vampire averted his eyes, bearing his lower teeth in adon’t get me involved in thisway.

“Nothing will go wrong,” I added.Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to drag you down, but maybe he will lay off us, uh, her.

“So, you’re hate fucking her?” Mal said, not sparing Dima a look.

“We haven’t fucked. Yet.” But why did I add theyet?

He raised an eyebrow.

“Mal, come on, you know me. We’ve been friends for four centuries. How many hook-ups have I had during that time? And how many times have I fallen in love? Exactly. Zero. I’m romantically dead.”

Mal sighed, closed his eyes for a beat, opened them. There were definitely tears hovering along his lower lids. “Goldie, I love you, man. I can’t sit aside and watch you go through . . . what I did. Mate, I still miss her. Every fucking day.”

“I know,” I said, placing my hand on the back of his. “This deal will last until the games expo, then she will be over her probation period, and off my hands. She’s not interested in me like that, anyway. She’s just using me. We’re using each other, and we’re both totally fine with it. And besides, she wants another guy from work. A fucking asshole, but that’s none of my business. There won’t be a repeat of you and Nova. I can promise you that. It has to be true. I couldn’t say it—”

“If it wasn’t true,” Mal said, finishing my sentence. “Listen, I can’t tell you what to do, you’re almost seven-fucking-hundred-years-old, but I can only say what I know. Losing someone like that, someone fated, it’s . . . you haven’t known pain like it.”

Well, I did know, because I watched it happen. I watched Mal refuse meal after meal. Refuse to bathe, or dress, or even acknowledge Dima and me. I watched him lose so much weight I thought his body might simply give up on him.

“Just promise me as soon as this ‘deal’ is over, you cut her loose. Before you become fated. Let her go. Let her become this other guy’s problem, this . . .”

“Seth,” I offered.

He quirked a shoulder as though it didn’t matter. “Let Seth become fated with her and lose his mind when she’s gone. Better him than you. I can’t lose you too.”

And I realised there were more layers to Mal’s objection than I’d first thought. Sure, he was worried I’d fall in love with a human and have to suffer through the same bereavement as he did, but also perhaps he was worried that I wouldn’t come through the other side. There were times near the beginning of Nova’s death that I thought Mal might try to find her in the afterlife, instead of biding his time up here. Perhaps he was concerned I would be the same. It made his reasoning a little selfish, and I loved that more. He wanted me around. Needed me as a friend.

I didn’t think Seth would suffer the same fate as Mal. I was pretty sure Seth was incapable of loving anyone besides himself. So really, the only person with anything to lose here was Holly. But after another seven weeks, she wouldn’t be any of my business.

And I was certain Holly would be glad to see the back of me.

“She hates you?” Mal said, as though reading my thoughts. He managed a twitch of a smile.

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