Page 106 of Shroom for Improvement

“I have something I need to tell you.” He paused, then rolled his eyes. “Fine, we.Wehave something to tell you.”

I sat down. Kept my gaze fixed on him.

“Jenny would like to apologise,” he said, sitting next to me.

Okay, wasn’t expecting that. “For what?”

“See, I told you he wouldn’t care.” Claude eyed the ceiling, obviously talking to the house. He paused, then clicked his tongue. “It said it thinks it’s made an inhospitable environment for you—for us—and it would like to make amends.”

I frowned back at him, for once lost for something to say.

“Basically, it doesn’t want us venturing off its land to... do things, because it’s lonely... You just told me you’re lonely. I can’t lie, remember?... Right, youwerelonely, and now you’re not because Sonny and I are here... No, but you justsaid—” Claude shook his head and shot me a look which loosely translated toJenny’s been haranguing me since we got back, and I’m about up to my wit’s end.“Anyway”—he raised his voice—“Jenny said if we would like a tropical lagoon to... frolic in, it can magic one for us within the grounds.”

Claude couldn’t maintain eye contact after the word frolic.

“We were only following the compass,” I added.

“Right, that’s what I said.” Claude looked up to the rafters again. “See? Neither of us knew where we were going. How were we to know your boundary ends two-point-six-five kilometres west?”

I gently cleared my throat. “So...” I gathered all my breath in my cheeks while I considered what I’d say next. Or rather, how I’d say it. I didn’t want the house to take offense. It seemed to have the ability to make life hellish, if it so chose. “I’m not sure what happened at the waterfall earlier would have happened if we’d been on Stinkhorn grounds.”

Claude waved a hand, which I presumed was a gesture aimed at the house.

“It’s simply that I don’t think we would enjoy having an audience,” I clarified, giving up all pretence of speaking through my fae companion and aiming the conversation at the walls.

Claude nodded, then sighed. “Jenny says we don’t need to worry about it watching us. That it’s working in a more supervisory role. It wants to reassure you—us—it has no sexual organs and does not possess the ability to even become aroused, let alone get off whilst watching us... get off. It would like to add that it’s aromantic and does not, nor will it ever, hold romantic feelings towards either of us, or any of its occupants.” He looked up. “Did I get everything?”

“All I’m saying,” I said to both of them this time. “Is that Jenny doesn’t need to apologise, but I still feel weird about a sentient house seeing me come.”

“Agreed,” Claude said. He nodded along to Jenny’s silent-to-me response. “Okay, it says it can put its mind inside a little box so it dampens what it sees and hears.” Another pause. “It doesn’t conceal everything, but it’s not as clear as before.”

“Sure,” I said. I felt weird about the house watching, but that didn’t mean it would stop me from doing anything sexual with Claude. So long as he initiated it.

That was the crux of it. It wasn’t fair for me to initiate something and then fuck off back to Remy for the rest of forever. It felt like I was playing with his emotions.

Because if he was anything like me, he was already halfway to falling in love.

Ah, who was I kidding? One gentle shove in the right direction and I was already there. Full-way in love.

I was toeing a dangerous line, but a few more weeks and there’d be no more Claude and Sonny. No more us. We would go back to our lives as they were before—or not before—but very much separate.

Though, if I learned anything from my time at the waterfall, Claude would be foolish to give all this up and move back to the dank, dark, dirty city, only to have his colleagues forget his name, to have passengers yell at him, to go back to living in a one-bed basement flat instead of this incredible palace.

“That’s absolutely fine with me. I’m up for whatever you are.” I turned my face to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks, but not before I caught Claude’s one-sided smile.

“Excellent, well,” he said, straightening the lapels on his jacket. “Jenny asks if you’re still interested in gaining access to the library. I’ll admit I’d forgotten all about the library. I guesswe don’t need it anymore, but Jenny says there are numerous books about mushrooms and some about mushroom magic.”

An excited squeak left my throat. “Oh, yes, please.”

“That’s settled then. Tomorrow we will go to the library. Now, if you’ll excuse me for a few moments, I need to shower and wash the lagoon from my skin.”

“I’ll wait for you in bed,” I said, then immediately closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see Claude’s reaction. It sounded a lot saucier than I’d meant it to.

“Okay,” he replied with a laugh, before he disappeared into the bathroom.

That night, after Claude got into bed he rolled onto his side, leaving his hand in the middle again, I wanted to reach for it. I wanted to kiss him goodnight, cradle his jaw, tell him how incredible earlier had been, tell him—in detail—all the ways I was looking forward to exploring his body. But it was too much. Too dangerous.

I might never recover.

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