Page 140 of Shroom for Improvement

Perhaps murdering him would’ve been more humane.

“Lord Stinkhorn, sir,” said Mr Greene. His speech was steady, robotic, even though his body was racked with shivers. “I have decided the Stinkhorn grounds are not worth the money nor time it would take to redevelop. I’m very sorry, my lord, but you are stuck with an extremely unprofitable plot of land there.”

“There we go,” cooed Mrs Ziegler. “Now leave, please, and never return.”

“Yes,” he said simply.

I turned to Jacques. “Is that it? Are you still planning on flattening the house?”

“Ew, no. I never wanted anything to do with this house, but it seemed like a perfect opportunity to visit an old friend.” Jacques took the scroll and held it in an open palm. The next second, it disintegrated into ashes. He let it pour between his fingers as though it were sand scattering in the wind. “Cam tends to have a rather unhealthy hold over some of the council members, but it shouldn’t take much paperwork to sort this out. Leave it with me.”

I simply nodded.

Jacques marched up to the sickly Mr Greene and regarded him with disgust. “Think I’d better drive this time.” He retrieved Mr Greene’s keys from his pocket with the very tips of pinched fingers.

“Honestly, it seems kinda harsh, what you did,” I said to Mrs Ziegler as we watched the convertible pull out of Stinkhorn Manor, Mr Greene in the passenger seat, still holding his own barf. “But thank you for saving the house.”

“It’s nothing more than his own past haunting him. If the guy hadn’t committed so many transgressions, he wouldn’t have been so affected. You wouldn’t, for example. I cannot see much in your life, regret wise, that you are not presently dealing with.”

Wow, okay, that was painful. And accurate.

If I hadn’t been such a miserable bastard convinced of my own lack of appeal from the offset, maybe I would’ve agreed to coffee with Sonny when he’d first asked. Maybe we’d already be a couple—in love, living together, with future plans and all sorts.

“But don’t you think Mr Greene deserves a second chance?”

“Thisishis second chance.” Mrs Ziegler smiled, and as usual, the blue flames danced around her lips. But this time, her smile didn’t seem so malicious. “Once you’ve seen as many atrocities as I have, you begin to learn who can recover from their mistakes and whose souls will be permanently maimed.”

I considered her words. Wondered if she wasn’t as evil as I first assumed.

But then I remembered the very pressing issue at hand. “Do you know what the ritual is?”

“Of course. I know everything.”

“But you can’t tell me, right?”

“You’ve got it,” she said with a wink.

“You don’t seem the least bit nervous that I might not figure out the ritual in time. If I don’t get it, you’ll die, will you not?”

Mrs Ziegler inhaled sharply and let it all out in one lengthy sigh. “I’ve been so-called alive for a very long time. Too long. I’m so tired. Of everything. A few more centuries on this planet might be nice, but I’m ready for either eventuality.”

A strange thought occurred to me. Jenny had said Mr Dupont was trying to kill Mrs Ziegler by destroying the house. Knowing what I now knew about Jenny, this could have been alie, but what if it wasn’t? And what if Mr Dupont hadn’t been acting for his own interests?

What if somebody had asked him to ensure the house was destroyed?

It would explain why he volunteered to pick Sonny up from the station with the intention of leading him astray and leaving him at the foothill of Mount Agaricus. It would explain why he’d not actually harmed either of us in the past two months, despite having multiple opportunities.

He could’ve killed me in my sleep, and the house would crumble at the solstice, but he never did. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to. Maybe this enormous, imposing, scary as fuck fire daemon wasn’t entirely a bad guy.

Maybe he was just trying to put someone he loved out of their misery.

Oh, shit. I tried to bat the thought aside. But suddenly I had the urge to run away from Mrs Ziegler in case she attempted anything.

Beside me, she sighed. “I won’t harm you. I know you might not believe that, given who I am, but you have my word.”

Super fun. She could also read minds.

She smirked at me and for some stupid, cowardly, and self-destructive reason, I believed her. Knew it in my gut she wouldn’t hurt me.

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