Page 146 of Shroom for Improvement

A million questions popped into my head—a million things to say—but they could wait.

It had felt like forever since I last kissed him. And like I might never get another chance to do this.

He broke the kiss. “Why aren’t you in Remy?”

“I know what the ritual is!” I said. I hadn’t known how I would tell him. I’d been practicing trying to say the words aloud, but every time I attempted to vocalise them, only nonsensical sounds came out. I’d concluded I’d have to show him, and oh no, wouldn’t that be terrible? But I needn’t have worried either way—

“I do too!” He laughed. “No wonder my father didn’t want anyone besides his current girlfriend there.”

“Right?” I kissed him again.

He pulled away, and I saw the worry etched in his features. “Why aren’t you in Remy? You’re going to miss your appointment.”

“Because... because you are the magic, Claude. I’ve waited so long—years and years—for a chance to publish this paper, and I’ll get another opportunity, but I’m not prepared to wait a second longer to be with you. I love you. Like stupid amounts. And I cannot miss this ritual. I need to be here for you. I choose you. I’m always going to choose you.”

Claude butted his forehead against mine. “I love you.” He laughed. “And I have for a while. I’ve just been too afraid to tell you, in case... in case you didn’t want the burden of me, and this house. I don’t know how we’ll make things work with you in Remy. Maybe we should try long distance—”

“I want to move in here with you,” I said, and then immediately regretted yet another outburst. “It’s your home, though. I can... wait until you’re ready. I’m sorry.”

He kissed me again. “No, don’t be sorry. I love it when you say whatever the fuck you’re thinking. I want you to live here. I want to wake up next to you every single morning and I want to go to bed with you each night. But how will it work with uni? Don’t you have students who need you?”

“I have second years, yeah. I will need to speak to the dean, and see if I can take a sabbatical, or if I’ll need to wait for my students to graduate. But it’s only a couple of years until they do, so at most, we’d only have to do two years of long distance. But maybe there’s something else I could do. It worked pretty well doing my one-on-ones virtually. Maybe more of my lessons could be conducted or organised virtually or... I dunno...”

“We’ll figure it out,” he said. “I can’t believe you’re here. I need to introduce you to... some new friends.” He turned and looked into the dark cavity at the back of the cavern.

“Folks, you can come out now.” Nobody appeared. Claude side-eyed me. “Sonny won’t hurt you. He’ll probably love bomb you instead.”

“Um, who are y—”

Claude held his finger over his lips,sshingme. “You’ll see. Come out, folks. You don’t need to be shy with Sonny.” He walked farther into the space and dropped to his knees next to a semi-flat rock.

In the corner of my peripherals, a blur of red flashed by, followed by another on my other side. My heartbeat started racing again, but not through fear. Through excitement. It was like being a child waking up on Winter Fest morning.

I heard a squeak, similar to a rubber chicken, but softer. And another. And suddenly my vision was overrun with little red blurs and the cave filled up with squeaky chirping.

Tiny mushroom folk everywhere. They were naked and had chubby, cheruby bodies with rosy cheeks. They stood atop the flat rocks and in recesses and cracks in the cavern walls. Some of them even began swimming in the deeper puddles.

And all the emotion from earlier in the day—from being kidnapped, escaping, from the terror of driving for the first time, the heartbreak of saying goodbye, the relief of being here with Claude again—caught up to me, and I started sobbing. Tears fell freely onto my shirt, which was soaked anyway, so they made little difference.

I swallowed my sob, wiped my cheeks with my wrist, and knelt next to Claude. “Hi.” I whispered because they were very small. I waved.

“Sonny, these are the Earth Bells. They told me what the ritual is. Earth Bells, this is Sonny, my...” Claude looked at me, his brow creased, his expression a question.

I nodded to let him know he could absolutely, categorically, one hundred percent use the word poised right at the tip of his tongue.

“My boyfriend,” he finished.

My smile was immediate. A fresh wave of silent tears rolled down my cheeks. “Your boyfriend,” I repeated in a whisper.

“That feels so good.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, before I remembered the hundreds of eyes gazing up at us.

“They like shells,” said Claude. “And watching, erm, intimate moments.”

“I mean, who doesn’t, right?” I said. The squeaking in the cave took on an amused quality.

I wanted to stay here all night and find out all about these wonderful creatures, but my wet clothes were chilling my bones, and I was acutely aware of the approaching dawn.

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