Page 55 of A Christmas For Holly

“Okay,” I said, and the word felt too simple, too small. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for not making this weird,” he muttered, his gaze finally meeting mine, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“I mean, sex is a little weird in the cold light of day,” I admitted, trying to inject some lightness into the moment. “But not bad, weird. And we’re… new.”

He relaxed a little, his shoulders loosening as he shifted closer. “New is okay, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, holding his arm, steadying both of us. “New is okay. And, for the record, thanks for bringing it up. You didn’t have to, but it means a lot that you did.”

His smile widened, and I could see the relief washing over him. “It’s important.You’reimportant.”

The honesty in his voice struck me, and I nodded. “Yeah. You are, too.”

And just like that, the air between us shifted, lighter but somehow more solid, more real. It wasn’t only about the words or the details—it was about trust, about showing up for each other in a way that mattered.

“I’m more of a bottom, but I’ve… look…I mean.” What the fuck was I trying to say? “I’ve been with guys, and I can work with whatever you want…” Shit, I was embarrassing myself. “Will you fuck me? Can you…” Was I asking too much? Would this trip his panic response? Was he looking for me to take care of him?

He rested his forehead on mine. “God, the thought of being inside you… fuck… yes.”

“Do we have condoms? Lube?”Why hadn’t I thought this through?

“In my wallet, just one,” Holly said, and we stared at each other. Then he wriggled out, got his wallet, and opened it up,pulling out a condom and then glancing into the bathroom, coming back with lotion. “Best I can do.”

“Is that even safe?” I asked.

Holly was crestfallen. “I don’t know. I know I want inside you, and…”

He wanted to get inside me? Fuck. My cock ached with the thought of it, and I grabbed the condom, “I'm not on PrEP, but I’m negative, and I haven’t been with anyone in so fucking long there’s probably cobwebs.” Then I gestured at the lube. “Give that to me.”

“Can I do it?” he asked, unsure. “I mean, stretch you out and look at you and…”

I rolled on my front.

“Fuck, yes.”

Holly’s hands trembled as he squirted some lotion onto his fingers. His breath quickened, and I felt the heat radiating from his body as he positioned himself behind me. His fingertips grazed my lower back, sending shivers up my spine.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, his voice rough.

I nodded, unable to form words as his slick finger circled my entrance, tentative at first, then with growing confidence. I gasped as he pushed inside.

“God, you’re so pretty here, so tight, your pretty pink hole. God...” Holly murmured, working his finger in and out, filthy praise falling from his lips. “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” I managed to say. “Harder. More. Please.”

He added a second finger, stretching me with care. The initial discomfort gave way to pleasure as he explored, curling his fingers and brushing my prostate. I moaned, clutching the sheets.

“Fuck, the sounds you’re making,” Holly groaned. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”

“Then don’t,” I panted, looking over my shoulder at him. His face was flushed, eyes dark with lust. “I’m ready. I want you inside me.”

He handed me the condom, and with shaking hands, I tore open the wrapper and rolled it on him.

“How do you want me?” I asked and hoped he wanted to face me so I could watch his expressions.

He arranged me so I lay on my back, then eased my legs apart, positioning himself between them. For a moment, he paused, took a breath, and closed his eyes. Was he having a panic attack? Was this too much? Then, his eyes locked with mine, and yes, there was nervousness there, but they were dark with raw desire. I could feel the heat of his body, the slight tremor in his hands as he gripped my hips.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

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