Page 12 of A Christmas For Holly

I didn’t look back as I pulled away, the road ahead both daunting and strangely freeing. Kai had always made Christmas sound like magic in Wishing Tree.

I kind of needed some magic right now.

Wishing Tree was a picture-perfect winter scene as I drove in, the kind you see on Christmas cards—all twinkling lights and snow-covered rooftops. It had snowed on the way from Albany the higher into the mountains I drove, and it was cold enough for the snow to stick, making everything pretty. Plus, the streets were already decked out for Thanksgiving and the first hint of Christmas, with garlands strung between lampposts, wreaths on every door, and festive window displays in every shop. It was like stepping back in time, where the season’s magic hung in the air like the snowflakes just starting to fall again.

I kept my eyes straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel a little too tight, listening to the robotic voice of the GPS as it guided me through town. I didn’t want to look left or right or see the people who lived here, who might recognize me. I wasn’t ready to see Kai yet; hell, I didn’t want to think about the chance of seeing Kai or Bailey walking down the street, maybe arm in arm, smiling, happy. Or worse, maybe Lucas.

But what were the chances of that happening?

“Turn left in two hundred yards,” the voice instructed.

I followed it like a lifeline, keeping my focus on the road and away from the memories clawing at the edges of my mind.

As I drove through the snow-dusted streets of Wishing Tree, the bright blue paint of my Lamborghini Urus stood out like a sore thumb against the white landscape. Subtlety had never been my strong suit when I’d been playing—if I was loud enough, then no one saw the real me—but right now, I was questioning my life choices. Harriers Blue as a color choice had seemed like such a great idea back then; it was a way to show my loyalty and pride and that I was at the top of my game. But now? It felt like a neon sign screaming,“Hey, look at the guy who fucked up everything!”

I tapped my fingers on the leather as I drove past another family enjoying the snow. The kids’ eyes widened when they saw the car, and they whipped their heads around to follow it as I drove by.

“What the hell were you thinking, Holly?” I muttered, glancing at my reflection in the rearview mirror. My dark eyes stared back at me, full of doubt and regret.

I wasn’t incognito in this damn car. I’d sold my house back in the city and almost everything tying me to the life I’d been living. Yet, for some reason, I’d clung stubbornly to this flashy horror as if it were the last piece of my identity.

I bet Doc Susan would have a field day with my thought process.

I ran a hand through my hair, sighing as I navigated the narrow streets. “Should’ve sold you too,” I said aloud as if the car could hear me.

The truth was, I hadn’t bought it because I needed another car at the time. I hadn’t even bought it because I wanted it. I’d bought it because I’d had money to spend. I was the captain ofthe Harriers, the guy who’d led his team to a Stanley Cup. The dealer said I deserved the car because I lived the dream andneededto show the world.

But now? Driving this thing through Wishing Tree because there was only one way in and out to these damn cabins was like trying to blend in while wearing a crown and a cape. There was no escaping who I’d been or what I’d lost.

I shook my head, forcing my thoughts back to the road. The cabin road wasn’t far now; only a few more turns, and then two miles outside of town I’d be there, away from the stares, away from the past. Maybe then I could start figuring out who I was without all the trappings of my old life.

I glanced at the GPS, the screen flashing the final directions to the cabin. Maybe it was time to let go of this car, the same as I’d let go of everything else. But not today. Today, I needed to get to the cabin and figure out what I was doing here in small-town Vermont. One step at a time, right? I could worry about the rest later.

I slowed as I approached a stop sign, my foot on the brake, and that was when I saw him.

Lucas.

No.

Not yet.

He was crossing the street right in front of my car, a young girl holding his hand. They carried to-go cups and grinned at each other. I recognized the girl as Lucy, the niece of Kai, Bailey,andLucas. I knew the entire family tree of blended Buchanan/Haynes adults and kids.

Please don’t look this way.

Fuck. He glanced at my car, a passing glance to check for traffic, but then he did a double take, staring past the chrome and sky-blue, his gaze locking onto mine. He frowned, his brows pulling together in confusion or maybe something worse. Myheart skipped a beat, shame flooding through me so fast it left me breathless. I was hot with it, the flush creeping up my neck and into my cheeks, burning like a brand.

Please come to the car.

No! Please don’t come to the car.

But then the light changed, and with Lucas and his niece safely on the other side, I forced myself to drive on, my heart pounding, my thoughts a tangled mess. I could feel his gaze on me even as I left him behind, which made everything worse. I couldn’t stop thinking about his expression and how his eyes had narrowed as he tried to figure out what I was doing in his town.

I followed the GPS’s instructions on autopilot, barely noticing the rest of Wishing Tree as I drove through. I was frazzled when I reached the small clearing where the Kissing Pines Cabins were nestled among the trees. Mine was the last of three A-frame houses, each dusted with snow. I killed the engine and sat there momentarily, staring at the cabin before me. It was small and cozy, advertised as an escape from the real world, but with the caveat that it was still under renovation.

The cabin had one bedroom in a loft reached by a ladder-cum-staircase, a fireplace, a fully stocked refrigerator, and all the amenities I’d need for the next few months. I’d only gotten it because it was in the middle of renovations and was without a hot tub, sauna, or a completed kitchen. I’d told the owner it didn’t matter; I paid well above asking price, and my nearest neighbor, the next cabin down, was a quarter mile away, empty due to renovations, and out of sight and out of mind. The engine ticked as it cooled, and I couldn’t move. My thoughts were jumbled. I hadn’t expected to see Lucas and hadn’t prepared myself for the rush of emotions that came with it. Regret, shame, and longing hit me simultaneously, leaving me reeling.

I’dreallyfucked up.

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