Page 60 of A Christmas For Holly

He shuddered. “Absolutely not.”

The longer we stood there, watching the snow, the more the quiet peace and affection between us drifted away, replaced by a distance I didn’t understand. It was as though the plow had broken something, reminding us that real life was waiting just outside, that this little bubble we’d been living in couldn’t last forever.

“So… what now?” I asked.What about us? What comes next?

“I don’t know,” he whispered, his voice soft but tinged with something I couldn’t quite place. Worry? Uncertainty?

I shrugged, trying to keep things light without a frame of reference for what to say or do. I didn’t want to come over as needy or pathetic.

“At least we’re not trapped anymore.”

He nodded, but the way his lips pressed into a thin line told me he wasn’t thrilled about the idea. Did he not want me to go?

Please let it be that.

My heart sank. My obsession with touching him and being with him was overwhelming.

“I have room at my house, even a spare room if you want it.”

“I’m okay here,” he said, rubbing his chest, his eyes bright. Shit, the last thing I needed was to push my agenda on him and make him do something he didn’t want to, so a subject change was called for. “I need to connect with my therapist and work through some…”

He shrugged and didn’t finish, and I changed the subject.

“What’s your plan for the car?”

Holly sighed, leaning against the window frame. “Figure out the insurance, sell it for scrap, I don’t care about the fucking thing.”

Ouch.Okay then.“I know Greg at the garage.”

“Sure, then I’ll call that garage and get it towed; I can talk to my insurance company. This Greg guy can fix and sell it. Can you give the proceeds to charity or something?”

Was he asking me a question there? Was he asking me what I would do with the car? Or was he asking me to support him as someone he liked and might want advice from? Was it my place to make a suggestion? Frustration at what he might be looking for from me crippled my ability to make words. The matter-of-fact tone of his voice was doing nothing to bridge the gap between us, and I hated it.

“Okay,” I offered, and he glanced at me.

The snow fell lightly outside, and the longer we watched, the more that peace we’d shared started to fade. The world was creeping back in, and neither of us seemed ready for it as we sat back on the sofa.

Holly sat on the edge; his hands clasped loosely in his lap. He stared at the floor as if it held the answers to questions he had yet to figure out how to ask. He let out a slow breath, then glanced up at me, his dark eyes shadowed but determined.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice soft. “For wanting to stay here a bit longer. For… needing space. I’ll come back to town. I’ll visit. I promise I’m not dismissing what happened here.”

I crossed my arms, leaning against the table, and held his gaze. “Okay, then let me get to the point—you see us longer-term?”

Holly’s lips twitched into a faint smile, and he shook his head lightly as though I was missing the obvious. “Us is a thing, Lucas. Animportantthing.”

“And you know you’re my person now and stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He paused, then peered up through his lashes. “I’m falling for you too. I want more.”

The words warmed something deep inside me, but the weight of worry still pressed on my chest. “I just… I worry about you being alone up here. With everything you’ve been dealing with?—”

He cut me off with a small gesture, lifting his hand to point toward the window. Following his gaze, I saw the tiny chickadee perched on the bare branch of a nearby tree; its feathers puffed up against the cold.

“I’m not alone,” he said, his tone lighter, almost teasing.

I frowned. “Holly. Take me seriously.”

He turned back to me, the faint humor in his eyes softening into something more earnest. “Just give me a couple of days, Lucas. To get my head straight. See Kai and Bailey when they’re better to make sense of all this. Yeah?”

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