Page 36 of Running Feral

“Technically, we were both in danger. And we still are, because we’re standing at the scene of the crime. But it’s cute when you go all protective on me, Gunnar.”

He’s teasing me a little, but there’s also sincerity running underneath it. I pull him back in and hold him tight, squeezing him hard for just a moment until my body is satisfied that he’s okay. Tobias doesn’t seem to mind. He presses his face into my shoulder, in the same spot he always finds, like it was made to fit him perfectly, waiting until I get myself under control.

When we pull apart this time, I take a big step back, so I’m not tempted to keep clinging to him.

“Ready to go? You can call the cops on the way. Unless you wanna hide in the bushes and watch it all go down.”

I shake my head. “No way. We’ve been through enough mortal peril for one day. My heart can’t take it. There’s a reason I’m going gray this young, and it isn’t because I’ve lived such a stress-free life.”

Tobias snorts but acquiesces, and together we head away from the trailer. He’s still limping, but it isn’t worse than before, which was another worry I had about this expedition. He doesn’t object when I wrap an arm around his waist so he can lean on me, though.

We walk through the woods toward the car as he tells me what he found. And while I’m glad he found it so we can hopefully get this guy arrested, it’s even worse than I thought.

One normal laptop sitting out that had Instagram chats with teenage girls open. One not very well hidden but encrypted laptop that probably had the really bad stuff. And one very, very well-hidden hard drive that he obviously didn’t bother to encrypt because of that, which Tobias hooked up to the regular laptop and found a horde of photos of underage girls.

All disgusting. All of which he relates to me with a sad but matter-of-fact expression. He left the pictures open on the one laptop, left the other laptop next to it and then left the door open with everything in plain view, so the cops can come in when they get here.

Sav even gave me a burner phone to make the 911 call with, which I would not have thought of. Clearly, I’m not cut out for this.

By the time everything is wrapped up, we’re back in the car and on our way home. We should feel happy. We got away completely unharmed. Not even any close calls. But Tobias’s grin is long gone, and instead of being elated, I feel like something’s missing.

All that adrenaline and frenzy from earlier is floating around inside me, and it’s as if it has nowhere to go. There was no big dramatic chase sequence or a fight to end the situation. One minute, I was on the edge of a heart-pounding panic attack. Then everything was just… fine?

It doesn’t make sense.

I’m in a daze when we get back to the bar, but not so much that I can’t keep an eye out for Eamon. Sav and Kasia both promised to call if they saw him. I circle the whole place three times in the car before actually pulling into the parking lot, and even then, surrounded by dead space, I can see the nerves that Tobias is trying to hide.

It was the same when he left the apartment earlier—for the first time in days—to hustle into the car, despite us checking the surroundings as many times as possible. No one acknowledged it. It makes sense to be scared.

“Ready?”

He nods, stealing a glance at me. I see him reach for the door handle, but before he can, I grab his other hand to pull his attention back to me.

The atmosphere has completely shifted from earlier when he was so elated for once. I hate that, but at least he’s not bothering to hide from me. That feels like progress.

“I know it’s pointless to say, ‘don’t be scared’, because you can’t control it, and being scared is a logical thing to feel after everything that’s happened. But no matter how scared you are, I need you to remember that I’m here. I’m here, and I will do anything I can to make you feel less scared. Whether that’s actually physically protecting you, or just falling asleep on the couch with you and your awful movies. Whatever it takes. The fear will pass, but I’ll still be here.”

I don’t know how I expected him to react. I wasn’t planning what I was saying. The words just tumbled out of me. But Tobias’s mouth twists, and he seems to go through a convoluted series of emotions before he speaks or moves.

Instead of saying anything, Tobias slowly and carefully shifts in his seat and leans toward me. My hand is still resting lightly on his arm, but he’s careful not to dislodge it.

He moves closer and closer until there’s a fraction of the space left between us, and he still doesn’t stop. Before I have the chance to breathe, Tobias slides his other hand against my neck, his skin cool and soft compared to where I’m overheating with stress. He leaves it resting there as he closes the last few inches, and then he kisses me.

It’s tender. Closed-mouth, but there’s a heat behind it that would never let me mistake the kiss for anything other than what it is. Time seems to unspool as my body relaxes into it, all his softness leaning into me.

He’s the one who breaks away, but he moves just as carefully and deliberately as he did when he came closer.

His voice cracks a little when he starts to speak.

“I know you’re going to think that was about some kind of misplaced gratitude or hero worship. I know you’ve been tying yourself in knots over it. Which is dumb, but also not. You’re a good person. But I need you to hear me very clearly when I tell you that I didn’t kiss you out of gratitude. I am grateful, but that’s not why I kissed you.”

Tobias is still hovering close to me, and he smells like spearmint and my soap that he’s been borrowing. It’s simple, but it’s still intoxicating enough to threaten to distract me.

“I kissed you because I’ve wanted to for a very long time. And the more time I spend with you, and the more you say things like what you just said, the more I realize that I deserve to do some of the things I want to. I’m not going to feel guilty about it and neither are you. Got it?”

I nod slowly, feeling like I’m in a trance. Like the brief taste of him was enough to work its way into me and send every part of my body slithering to a slow stall.

“Good. Now let’s go inside.”

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