Page 63 of Carnival Mayhem

“I need to be part of this,” I continue. “I’ve spent years being helpless, being their victim. I won’t be a victim anymore.” My voice grows stronger with each word. “I want to see the light leave their eyes. I need them to know I’m not that scared little girl anymore.”

The darkness in their expressions shifts, morphing into something I’ve not seen since before I lost my parents, pride, maybe? They understand. Of course, they do. These two men who harbor their demons have protected me since I stepped into their world.

“If you’re sure,” Nash says, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “We’ll make sure you get your closure.”

Colt groans. “You’re fucking sexy when you say things like that,” he growls, making me giggle, then captures my lips with an intensity that makes my knees weak.

Nash moves behind me, his strong hands gripping my hips. His lips find my shoulder, trailing gentle kisses across my skin in contrast to his firm hold. The dual sensations of their touch ground me, reminding me I’m safe between them.

I reach back, tangling my fingers in Nash’s hair as Colt continues to kiss me. They surround me completely—my protectors, my salvation, my home.

Colt breaks our kiss, resting his forehead against mine as we catch our breath.

“We should focus on making plans,” I murmur, trying to keep my thoughts clear despite their distracting touches.

“Tomorrow,” Colt says firmly. “Tonight is about us.” He pulls back, his eyes searching mine with an intensity that makes my breath catch. “We’ve been wanting to talk to you about something else. Something that’s been on our minds.”

Nash’s grip tightens possessively as he adds, “Something we think you might be ready for soon with a little preparation.”

The shift in their tone makes my stomach flutter with nervousness and anticipation. “What is it?” I ask.

Nash steps forward, his eyes filled with concern. “Little bird, we want to start preparing you and explore something wilder tonight. It’s been building between us for a while, and we think you might be ready to prepare for the next step.”

My stomach drops. “What do you mean?”

Colt’s gaze is unwavering. “We want to be inside you at the same time. We’ve both fantasized about it, but only if you’re comfortable with trying to work up to it.”

My breath catches in my throat as the implications of their words sink in.

“Are you sure?” I ask, my voice shaking slightly. “I... I don’t know if I can handle both of you.”

Colt’s eyes soften. “You can do it, angel. We’ll go slow. Make sure you’re ready. But we want to give you that pleasure.”

My cheeks flame with heat, and I can’t meet their eyes. The idea of it both thrills and scares me.

“Have you ever...” Colt trails off, his voice gentle. “Have you ever had anal sex before?”

The question snaps me back to reality, my nervousness fading as the memories rush in.

“Once,” I whisper, my gaze fixed on the floor. “The night they both... the night they first raped me.” The words tumble out, and I wince, hating the lingering shame. “They both took turns. It was rough, and I... I bled.”

Silence falls as the weight of my admission hangs between us. I feel Colt’s hands on my shoulders, his thumbs gently rubbing.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Nash’s voice is thick with anger. “We didn’t know. We would never?—”

“No,” I interrupt, shaking my head. “No, I want to. I really do. But...” I bite my lip, hesitating to voice my deepest fantasy.

“But what?” Colt prompts, his thumbs pausing as he waits for my answer.

“I want the masks,” I blurt out, rushing the words out before I can change my mind. “I want it like that first night, except with you both.”

They’re silent momentarily, and I peek up to see their reactions. Nash’s eyes are hooded, while Colt’s expression is unreadable.

Colt shakes his head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. At least not tonight. We need to play with your ass a little, get it prepared, make sure there’s no pain. And see how you feel afterward. This isn’t something we can rush, especially not with your past experience with anal.”

Tears fill my eyes as I’ve never had anyone who cares about me like Colt and Nash. The way they want to protect me, cherish me. I nod. “Okay, but can you wear the masks but keep it light? I love it when you wear them.”

“If that’s what you want.” Nash kisses me softly. “We’re going to help you heal. One step at a time.”

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