Page 78 of Princes of Hollywood

When I open my eyes, he turns his head to face me. His blue eyes search mine.

“Can I hold you?” His voice is gentle. “Please.”

Tears press at the back of my eyes, but I nod. No one has needed me for comfort. He draws me around him until I’m straddling his lap. One hand presses in the center of my back while the other cradles my head against his bare chest. Tears fall unchecked down my cheeks.

Aiden moves up next to Roarke on the side of the bed. “Is it okay if I put my hand on your back?”

I open my eyes. Aiden gives me a sad smile. Nodding, I reach out a hand toward him. When he takes it, my eyes slide shut. His other hand joins Roarke’s on my back. I sink into their warmth, letting them comfort me.

My heart settles as everyone just holds me. Fuck, how long has it been since someone just held me? Before I got here? Before I met these men?

“Do you want to talk about it, poppet?” Roarke murmurs against my hair. He’s solid and warm beneath me. He could crush me if he wanted to, but he holds me like I’m breakable. Fragile.

My eyes squeeze shut tighter and I shake my head. Maybe being with all of them triggered it, but I loved every minute of them touching me. I enjoy being touched and crave these men.

But the darkness brings the nightmares. I can’t think about that time without falling into the broken girl I was. So I don’t think about it. I don’t allow it into my life. I don’t want to go there again.

Drawing in a breath, I prepare myself for their withdrawal and whisper, “I’m good now. You don’t have to keep holding me.”

“I’m not ready to let go yet, poppet,” Roarke whispers, and his fingers press against me gently. My heart skips a little. “I know you’re not ready to talk about it, but sometimes it helps. Whatever it is, I won’t judge you. It won’t change how I feel about you right now. It won’t change that I want you. I just want to protect you. Even if it’s from the ghosts of your past.”

I lift my head, worried they’re just lines. Just words he feels he has to say to make me feel better. But his eyes are clear and open to me. I can see all the way into his soul. He searches my eyes as his thumbs wipe away the tears flowing down my cheeks.

“What can we do, little warrior?” Aiden’s words are soft, but his nickname for me reminds me that I’m stronger now. I have some agency over my own life now. Maybe I’m still reliant on other people, but the guys will help me find a new path. They’ll help me find a way to be free.

I release a breath.

“For now? Make sure I’m awake before starting anything.” I cup Roarke’s jaw and meet his eyes. I give him what I can. “The darkness and being held down while asleep, even by covers, makes me uncomfortable.”

“Okay, poppet.” He leans in but stops before his lips touch mine. “May I kiss you?”

Flowers bloom in my chest at his request. At his patience. I close the distance and press my lips to his. Aiden squeezes my hand and I squeeze his back. When Roarke deepens the kiss, the desire I woke with reignites inside. He draws back and presses his forehead to mine.

“I’ll do my best to stay outside your lines, poppet. But I hope someday you’ll trust me enough with your story.” His eyes hold me captivated. I don’t know what I see in his depths, but it’s not something I’m familiar with. At least not that I’m aware of.

I draw in a breath and relax against him, suddenly so fucking tired.

I’m vaguely aware of being shifted around until I’m lying down with warm bodies on either side of me and being held as I fall back into oblivion.

#

Even though we slept more, I’ve felt off all morning. I’m not hiding anything from them. I just can’t share that part of me with anyone. It’s shameful, and I can’t let it in or it will haunt me again.

Aiden swims laps in the pool. Wyatt and Mason are working in their offices, both in the basement. Roarke had to go to a fitting of some kind. I’m hoping soaking in the sun will chase away the lingering darkness.

Earlier, Mason took my phone and installed a bunch of things on it. I’m flipping through the apps to get acquainted with them. That stack of papers remains on the island, but no one’s asked me to go through them yet.

Maybe I should just take a peek through them to see what they like and start answering some of the questions. I pretty much gave them my answer to will I or won’t I last night, but I’m still worried they’ll realize they don’t want me.

I’m also worried that even if something is on that page that I don’t want to do, that I will because they want it. That I won’t be able to hold my own boundaries with them.

That they’ll reject me and toss me out like everyone else does. I should be used to it by now. It hurts less when I know it’s coming, and it’s always coming.

“We should go in.” Aiden rises out of the water like a god.

My mouth waters as I take in every inch of him, dripping wet. No one’s initiated anything today. Roarke kissed me a few times, but they were almost respectful compared to the sinful kisses he gave me yesterday. My stomach twists.

I glance down at my phone. “What are we doing today?”

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