Page 27 of Beneath My Skin

CHAPTER 8

It was over in seconds, the terrible vacuum where nothing existed. We popped into reality inside the medallion and I stumbled to my knees.

“It doesn’t get any easier,” I gasped.

“I know, and if there was anything I could do to help you, I would.” Dax shuffled over and used his good arm to help me to my feet.

The bottle wasn’t any bigger the second time around. It felt like we hadn’t been here in years, when in reality it was hours.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” I came right out with it. “I’m afraid.”

“Hey, come here.” Dax held out his hand. I just stared at it until my eyes stopped seeing double from the transition. “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts.”

No, in fact. I wasn’t having second thoughts about him. Him I looked at and knew I wanted. I was too wrapped up in the idea of my own death at Jacqueline’s hands. It wasn’t the best material to get in the mood.

“I’m not.” I bit my lip and stared at the pale walls, the mirrors. Thinking about how much had changed in the last twenty-four hours. For a second, I was nothing but a woman, a human woman with standard human fears. “She frightens me. I’m not an animal to be bought and traded. I’m scared,” I said again.

“I don’t blame you.”

Dax tugged me close and I pressed my face against his chest. “What the hell am I going to do?”

“She’s not going to get you. I won’t let her touch you again.” His arms tightened and brought me close. “I’m going to protect you the best I can. I promise. Our last plan was to attack her head-on. This time, I want you to get far away and hide somewhere she’ll never find you.” His lips brushed against my hair. Down to my temple. Across my cheek, until they found mine. “Mariella,” he murmured. “Damn it.”

I melted against him. Yielded like he was made of fire and I was wax. Confusion, doubt, and fear swam in an endless circle inside my brain like sharks smelling blood in the water. “I want to trust you.”

“Then do it. You’re the only woman I’ve ever fallen for. Take my word.”

“I don’t know you.”

“Funny. I know you.” His hands fisted in the ropes of my hair and pulled my head back for a kiss.

I let him.

Whatever had brought me here we would need to face together. And however much I wanted to continue to deny my attraction for him, there was no denying this. Sometimes, I thought hazily, the need was stronger than logic.

A hum rose in my throat. A plea for him to continue, to never stop. My heart hammered hard and fast against my chest and my body shuddered. Dax broke the kiss to nip at my lips. Urge me on. I heard his name slip out of my mouth on a moan.

“Mariella,” he repeated. “My sweetheart. I wish things were simple.” When he kissed me again, it tasted like desperation and punishment.

Those same fears stung my throat and I pushed them down and offered no struggle. I took the heat coming off of him, off of me. I let his rough hands travel down my arms.

He leaned back to stare at me with stormy eyes.

I took a steadying breath and waited until I was sure to sound solid. Even when I felt the opposite. “Tell me what you want. The truth.”

“The truth,” he repeated.

“Yes. I wish you would tell me the truth.”

“Another fucking wish.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “A wish for one answer. Here’s the truth. I want to touch you and take you and pretend.”

“Pretend what?”

“Pretend we’re both free.” Slowly he unfastened the buttons lining the front of my shirt. He kept his eyes on mine. “Pretend I can touch you where you like, take you whenever I want. Show you how it feels to love you.”

“What if we’ll never be free? What if she kills me tomorrow and takes Cer?” Emotions swirling inside, I closed my own eyes so I didn’t have to look at the longing on his face. “Will we be forced to make do with pretend?”

Dax shook his head. “This is you and me, Mariella. I can only offer you pretend. That doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Nothing else matters outside of this. Do you understand?” He scooped me into his arms. “Look at me. Tell me you understand.”

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