Page 33 of Wake the Dream

“I followed the sounds of chaos. You ran pretty far. I had to get in the car and listen to police chatter. Did you really knock over a park bench?”

She had no idea, but tried to joke about it anyway. “You know me. I’m stronger than I look.”

Kieran had brought them back to the car and surprised Illaria by opening the back door. He deposited her on the seat then slid in beside her and shut the door.

“You still cold?”

She could only nod, shocked further when he drew the ends of his coat around her. His hand ran up and down her arm to try and instill a little of his warmth.

Waiting for the rest of his lecture to begin, Illaria blinked, staring at him. Surprised when she saw a rip in his shirt, the skin underneath covered in an angry welt.

Her wind. Had it come after all? She’d done that to him, tore through his shirt and hurt him. She was abashed in an instant, trying to decide how to begin to apologize to him. Apologize for what she’d done to him when she hadn’t been thinking.

It must have really hurt, and yet he’d taken her attack and gotten her out anyway, while she’d let her senses overwhelm her.

“I’m sorry, Kieran,” she began. “Kissing that guy—”

He held up a hand to stop her. “There’s no need to apologize to me. I understand why you did it and I know it wasn’t personal. You’re worried about your sister.”

At least she’d said the words, gotten them out, probably the best she could ever do. She nodded, and he took that as an invitation to continue.

“Tell me what happened with you and why you decided to run off,” he said gently.

There was too much to say. Too many emotions at war within her. She wanted to censor what she told Kieran but ended up pouring everything out.

“How could she do it? How could she run away like this? Trapped...she feels trapped? Does she not understand that I feel the same fucking way? Why didn’t she talk to me?”

The questions jumbled together, her tongue tying itself in knots, and instead of stopping under the swell of embarrassment, she went on, using her hands to gesture in the air and make her point.

“She isn’t the only one who feels like there is more to life than this. But she wasn’t alone. I was here, and I wasn’t enough...” Her voice broke.

“You can talk to me. I’m here to listen.”

She gave Kieran a sidelong look. “Don’t use your police voice on me,” she warned. “I’m not one of your civilians who needs to be talked off a ledge.”

“I’m not using a voice on you.” His eyes widened when she snorted. “I’m leaving the door open so you feel free to walk through it. Tell me how you feel. I’m listening.”

Illaria took a deep breath filled with citrus and musk, the combination unique to Kieran and one she knew she would never experience again once he left. Make no mistake, they left. All of them. Even Yelena.

“I feel...out of control,” she admitted, staring at her hands. “Like nothing in my life makes sense. When the gate slammed closed between Earth and Fairy, my sister and I were on the wrong side. And there was nothing we could do about it.”

“Kissing that man—?”

“Helped me feel something besides the damn anger I can’t get rid of!” She shifted away from him, pushing the heavy weight of hair away from her face. “I’m not sure why I’m talking to you about this. I don’t even like you.”

“Well, better to tell me than attack random strangers on the street.”

Clearing her throat, she maneuvered away until she sat next to the far door, both of them facing forward. “I’m sorry for dumping this on you.”

“I have a feeling we’ve barely scratched the tip of the iceberg,” Kieran admitted. She shot him a sideways glance and she could tell by his face he’d tried to inject a measure of levity into the remark.

Then she responded with a small grin, her lips still throbbing from her kiss with the stranger. Or was it from her earlier kiss with Kieran? Jeez, she really needed to learn to control her impulses. One of these days they were going to get her into trouble.

“What do we do now?” she asked.

Kieran inhaled through his teeth and leaned back in the seat, stretching his arms behind him until his fingers grazed the rear window. “Now, we follow through on this lead.”

She nudged him with her elbow. “You said we. You’ve stopped trying to exclude me because you finally realized my value?”

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