Page 132 of Faerie Hunted

“So this is the Abyss, huh?” I asked cheekily.

Onyx chuckled, his bitterness evident. “Is it everything you thought it would be? One of the best vacation spots ever because there’s no one else around.”

“It’s nothing like I thought it would be,” I admitted. “Where are all the others who were banished here?”

“What did you think I meant when I saidabyss? They drift, in their own pockets of emptiness,” Onyx explained.

“I’m not sure I actually had a thought. I didn’t stop long enough to consider it.”

“You know, I’ve always appreciated that about you,” he replied.

“What?”

“How you keep going no matter what happens.”

I felt a smile pull at my lips. “I thought the same thing about Livvy.”

“I’m sure there were a lot of things you thought about me,” Livvy joked.

Speaking to each other helped. Time passed, though, with no destination reached. There was only one foot in front of the other, our movements unseen. Did it even count if we didn’t know where we were headed? If we couldn’t see the shore beneath us?

I couldn’t even see the back of my own hand in the darkness.

Maybe I didn’t exist.

Maybe this was the death I thought I’d found when I woke up in the ballroom. My body wasn’t here. Only my mind, utterly disconnected from anything physical. Maybe I was nothing but a consciousness floating in a sea of black with nothing around me in any direction.

Faerie told me I’d pay three prices to access the Abyss. Innocence. Self. Life.

Fear trickled in beside the intrusive thoughts and made itself a cozy home.

I did feel like I’d lost myself. I was nothing and no one. No name. No body. Eventually, not even a need to protect the people I cared about.There is nothing here.And if there is nothing, then I’m nothing.

“Keep talking.” Livvy’s voice sounded urgent. “It’s too easy to get disoriented otherwise.”

“It’s too late for that,” I said distantly.

I didn’t sound like myself anymore. What was left of me when we boiled it down to the raw, base elements? Guilt and fear. Those two emotions were the only sensations remaining when everything else disappeared.

“There’s nothing left.” Onyx spoke my mind for me. “It’s the power of the Abyss. It shows you exactly what you are when you take everything away, and most people are not able to survive it.”

“How did you?” I asked.

“You know, I can’t remember,” he said with another dark chuckle. “I was too focused on getting away from Kendrick.” Even now, he refused to call that monster his father. “He saw it as a banishment. I saw it as an opportunity. He gave me the option of escape. Of survival.”

He chuckled again, rather mirthlessly. “You do some pretty crazy things when you’re in survival mode.”

“You sound tired,” Livvy told him.

“I am tired,” Onyx admitted.

“Especially for one so young,” she clarified.

“You’re only as young as you feel. I’ve heard the expression many times over and I finally get it.”

We’d been walking for hours at this point. Or days. But I never grew any more tired than how I felt in the current moment. My legs hurt, my feet were sore, and every part of me was soggy and heavy, but the sensations remained consistent. Soon even the fear took a back seat.

There was nothing left of me.

---