Page 42 of Blame It On the Lattes

“He learned to adjust to all of the changes, but he was lucky that he had parents who loved him and tried to make things as easy as possible for him.”

“I don’t think my dad loved me,” Kennedy said with a sniffle.

I turned my head to keep her from seeing the tears in my eyes. I knew this day would come, but I wasn’t ready for it to happen now.

“Do you know what I think?” Sam said, continuing the conversation since I couldn’t.

“What?”

“I think your dad loved you in the best way he knew how. Sometimes that might not be easy for us to see or feel, especially if we’re used to feeling loved in different ways. But I don’t think your daddidn’tlove you. I think he just didn’t know how to show you.”

“Oh. Maybe he should have asked Mommy for help. She always tells me she loves me and gives the best hugs.”

“Yeah, maybe. But sometimes people have to learn to love themselves before they can learn how to love others the way they need.”

I wiped my eyes and tried to pull myself together.

“Okay, so now that we know about Santa’s magic, did you think of anything you want to add to your list?” Sam asked, completely changing the subject.

I got up and blew my nose, making sure I had it together before I sat down at the table again.

“I really want this art set,” Kennedy said, taking us both by surprise. “I saw it on Grandma Amelia’s table, and she let me see all of the pretty paint colors inside.”

My heart felt like it was going to melt again as I smiled down at my beautiful daughter. I didn’t even bother to correct her on calling Ameliagrandmabecause if that’s what she felt like she was to her, so be it. It wasn’t like we had a relationship with my parents, and now Grant’s were out of the picture, too.

“I think that’s an excellent thing to put on the list. Are there other art supplies you think you might want to add as well?”

“Oh! Aunt Cassidy has these fun scissors that make weird lines when you cut with them. Some go this way, and some go that way.” She moved her finger in the air to show us the zigzag patterns she was talking about.

“Awesome! Let’s add those as well.”

I felt the tension start to lift from my shoulders as the spirit in my daughter came back to life. I knew I’d been in a funk and battling depression the past few months with all of the changes, but I never stopped to think about how much it was affecting Kennedy. I was thankful for a lot these days, but tonight, I was most grateful for the friends who had quickly become family and were helping us through these challenging times.

Twenty-One

Sam

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