Page 36 of Just This Once

“I guess,” he allowed with a grumble. “Except—wait. Hey!” Glancing up, he blinked at me. “Whereareyou staying while you’re in town?”

“Oh, I…” With an evasive shrug, I motioned in the dark toward the gulf. “I have a place down by the bay.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “A hotel? Which one?”

“Can’t remember the name right now. It was somewhere cheap and rated well on cleanliness.”

“Well, if youwantto stay here,” he started again, but I patted his arm.

“Nope, I’m good. Can I hang out with you again tomorrow evening, though?”

“Of course,” he answered immediately. “We can catch a movie together. There’s, like, only half a dozen or so new releases at the theater that I’m totally curious about.”

Smiling affectionately, I reached up and tousled his hair. “Aren’t there always?” Pulling my hand away, I winked. “It’s a date. I’ll pick you up in my new car so you can finally ride in it.”

Chuckling, he took a step back as I opened the driver’s side door and slid in. “Oh, he’s definitely going to want that back before tomorrow night.”

“Ten bucks says he doesn’t,” I challenged.

“You’re on.” He pointed a finger gun at me and pulled the trigger before sliding his hands into his pockets.

I laughed and shut the door, where it took me a few seconds to acquaint myself with Parker’s over-the-top Lucid Air, which seemed to have, like, a bazillion different camera views. Then I murmured, “Down for drive,” remembering what he’d told me as I pressed on the brake and pushed the little lever on the right side of the steering column down. When the car started forward, I shook my head, not at all used to being unable to hear an engine.

I made it to Brimley Apartments, however, without breaking anything. Finding a spot in their parking lot, I gritted my teeth through a pothole that hopefully didn’t harm Parker’s baby. Then I heaved out a breath and grabbed my purse, plus my carry-on, before climbing out.

My energy was too low to cart everything else in right now. I’d worry about that tomorrow.

At the front door, I had to dig up the key that my new super had mailed me before opening the main entrance. Then I wandered the inside halls for about ten minutes until I found my way to what was my new place.

Inside, I flipped on a light and winced at the tacky, mismatched furniture before shrugging and stepping in to shut the door behind me.

Home sweet home.

Air-conditioning was the first thing I hunted up, and once I had it blowing full blast, I got myself a cup from my carry-on bag, filled it with water, and collapsed into a chair at the table, trembling with exhaustion and pain.

After plopping my purse on top, I dug out my Furosemide, Carvedilol, Prednisolone, and Thiamine, then I systematically took my nightly dosages.

Breathing out a breath once all that was done, I sat back in my chair, closed my eyes for a moment, and then opened my phone to listen to the three messages my hepatologist, Dr. Selma Paul, had left.

“Hope?” she started in her familiar British accent. “This is Dr. Paul. Please call me when you can. I received a very concerning message from your mother, and I must concur that I donotthink it wise for you to travel at this point. Especially all the way to Texas. I’d really like you to come in sometime to discuss some palliative care options.”

My chin trembled as I erased that message.

But my fucking, meddling mother. She ignored me ninety percent of the time until I finally did something for myself. Then, she had to jump all over it, telling me whatever I’d done was wrong. Or find someone else to tell me how I’d fucked up.

Someone like my doctor. Already wincing, I started in on the second message.

This time, Dr. Paul started out with a weary sigh. “So it sounds as if you’re already on your way to Westport, and I must say, I’m strongly against this idea. But dammit, Hope… Please just call. I know your mother won’t reach out to you at this point.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes at that. “Just let me know you’re okay.”

When tears filled my eyes, I deleted that message as well.

“I can only imagine what this must be like for you, Hope,” she came back with the third and final message. “I’m sure you’re scared. And that’s completely understandable. But you don’t have to go through this alone. I hate the thought of you being down there by yourself. You’re one of my favorite patients. Please don’t worry me like this. Just…call.”

Chewing guiltily on the inside of my lip as I erased that message too, I held my phone for longer than normal with the call app open before I shifted over to the texting app instead.

I made it here okay. I feel good. Still taking all my pills, as you directed. And I’m with my favorite person on the planet now. I feel less alone than I have in years. This is where I want to be. Thank you for caring, though, Paulie. I love you.

I figured she’d convey my message to my mother. I didn’t feel like getting a lecture about how stupid I was tonight, anyway, so I didn’t text Liz to letherknow I’d made it.

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