Page 37 of Just This Once

A minute later, Dr. Paul replied.

Thank you for responding, at least. I’m praying for you, kiddo.

She wouldn’t pressure me anymore about it. That was what I appreciated most about her. Paulie said her piece, made her opinion known, and then stepped back to let me live my own life.

It was really too bad my mother didn’t follow a similar pattern, but Liz Langston-Shoney had to constantly prove to her husband, Jackson, and his three little angels that I was the bad guy, and she was my victim. If she didn’t like something I did—which was always—she had to pick and complain and pout about it until she got her way. And more often than not, it didn’t even have shit todowith her. But she made sure it centered around her by the end of it, anyway.

I sighed heavily, determined to put her from my mind, and I dug back into my purse to pull free a sheet of paper that I’d folded and tucked inside my zippered pill pocket.

This right here was forme.

Smoothing it against the table, I looked at the bucket list I’d started to create back in Ohio.

When I read the first item—come home—I nodded in achievement and pulled a pen from my purse before check-marking that bad boy off the list.

One item down, only a dozen more to go.

As I started to read through them—take a road trip with no destination, spend all night on the water—I paused at number four.

I’d almost writtenfall in lovewhen I’d first composed the list, but then I’d grimaced and decided to go a little more realistic. I wanted things I could actuallyobtainon this list.

Besides, I wasn’t sure if I wanted all the sticky complications and headaches and strings that came with falling in love, anyway. And love seemed more like a long-term commitment kind of thing, which I couldn’t do.

But lust, on the other hand…

Yeah, that zing of primal awareness, the giddy feeling of simply being in another person’s presence, of wantingmorewith them.

In my whole life, I’d been with a total of six different guys, and none of them had ever given me a true zing, nothing past a mild tingling really. And none of them had given me anything near an orgasm. I couldn’t say I was incapable of having them either; I’d given myself plenty. But I’d never gotten off during sex.

It had to be possible. I knew without a doubt that all three women I’d met tonight—Oaklynn, Faith, and Raina—had been left completely satisfied by their men. You could tell just by the way they looked at them. With a little bit of awe and wonder, a healthy dose of adoration, and plenty of hunger and craving.

Yeah, those girls got orgasms on a regular basis.

And that’s what I wanted too. An intercourse orgasm. Just one time of unbridled passion, so I could die knowing what it felt like.

Of course, I needed to find a partner to have my climaxwith. That was going to be tricky since I hadn’t lived in Westport for nearly five years and no longer knew anyone here. I’d probably have to go clubbing to hunt up a willing?—

When a vision of Parker filled my head, I promptly swatted that idea aside.

Realistically, I wasn’t too keen on the idea of a one-night stand with a complete stranger. Idiot, cautious me, I had a feeling I’d never stop worrying or relax enough to actually enjoy anything with some random guy I picked up at a bar.

Parker wasn’t a stranger, though, my brain whispered.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. My brain definitely needed some sleep if it was coming up with piss-poor brainstorming like that.

Deciding to give my list plotting a break until I could think clearly again, I pushed my way up from the chair and went about my nightly routine, finding my toothbrush and travel-sized lotion in my carry-on and visiting my new bathroom to prepare for bed.

But as I met my own gaze in the mirror while brushing my teeth, all I could see was the interest building in Parker’s eyes as he wound my hair around his finger.

He definitely knew how to give a girl an orgasm. There was no doubt about that.

And then he probably sent her home in tears because he was such a dick, I mentally added.

Except it might be worth it.

I had to say, I’d always wondered about him.

I mean, I’d been curious aboutallof my brother’s friends. Alec had the most handsome besties, I swear. And each of themhad their own unique qualities that could give a girl a sensual shiver. But Parker?—

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