Page 48 of Just This Once

I shook my head. “No. Not a self-inflicted one. I have those all the time. I want one during sex. With a guy. But no one’s ever been able to give me one before. And I just—I would like one single night of complete sexual abandonment. Like they talk about in books and movies and songs. I want to come so hard on someone’s dick that my entire world flips on its fucking axis. Do you know what I mean?”

“Langston,” he warned from between gritted teeth before he shook his head and repeated, “Idon’twant to hear any more of this.” His voice was laced with a hard, threatening edge.

But I needed to say my piece. I had it all planned out in my head; he wasn’t going to ruin this for me before I could even say everything I wanted to say.

So I plowed ahead more quickly now. “I only want one time. Nothing else.” I swiped out a hand to make that point a hard limit. “But it can’t be with someone I actually like. God,thatwould be a complete disaster. Can you imagine me finally finding someone who rocks my worldandis amazing, only for me to go and die on them? Ugh. No, thank you. So no emotional ties. But I want someone I know I can trust. It can’t just be some random stranger off the street; I’d never be able to relax enough to actuallyenjoyit. And as much of a grump as you can be, I can at least rely on the fact that you’re loyal toAlec, so I could trust that you wouldn’t do anything traumatic to me. Plus, the rest of you boys are all girlfriend-ing up too fast for me to keep track of.It’s like I’m stuck on a deserted island here, and you’re the last man left. There’s pretty much no one else I can even consider. Just you and Keene. So?—”

“Then go to Keene,” he cut in harshly.

I made a face. “But Keene’s so close to Alec.”

“I’mclose to Alec,” Parker thundered.

I rolled my eyes. “Not like Keene is, and besides, I just remember Keene as the immature and annoying boy he was back when we were kids. He freaking sneezed on me. Which makesyouthe last man standing here.”

“The first time I ever met you, I yelled at you,” he reminded me.

I shrugged. “Still better than being annoying.”

“Except you annoyme,” he countered.

I only smiled. “Which really isn’t an issue for me since I’m not the one who’s annoyed.”

When he said nothing, just stared at me, I blew out a long breath, pretty proud of myself for saying my piece without my voice cracking or wavering once.

“Come on,” I coaxed with a mysterious smile and bouncing of my eyebrows. “You have indiscriminate one-night stands all the time with a slew of women you don’t even know. How could this be any different aside from the fact that you’d be granting a terminal girl her dying wish?”

“Maybe because of the fact that Idoknow you. You’re one of my best friend’s sisters.”

“Then we’ll turn off the lights, and you can pretend I’m a stranger who doesn’t get on your last nerve.”

“Why don’tyouturn off a fucking light with a stranger and pretend it’s me?”

I blinked at him, and then went bold, admitting something I never thought I ever would. “I already tried that.” When his jaw fell slack, I smirked. “It was with a boyfriend, and we kept thelights on, but I closed my eyes and pictured you.” With a shrug, I finished with, “Still didn’t work.”

The shock on his face was priceless. If nothing else came from this, I was selfishly pleased by how much I’d managed to stupefy him.

“So what do you say?” I asked in a quiet, intimate tone. “Will you help me check number four off my list?”

He said nothing. He merely closed his laptop and stood up before slipping the computer into his messenger bag, hooking the strap over his shoulder, and walking off.

“That means you’ll think about it, right?” I called after him.

He didn’t even glance back.

“Alright, then. Good talk.” I fell back in my seat, defeated. “Crap.”

Number four wasn’t looking as if it was going to get crossed off the list any time soon.

It was what I’d been expecting, but still.

That had stung.

Oh well. Glancing at all the people milling around the cafeteria and sitting at tables, eating together, I blinked twice before slowly sliding my salad back in front of me. Then I picked up my fork and finished eating my lunch to console myself.

12

PARKER

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