Page 73 of Just This Once

“But I’m not wrong, am I?”

Since I couldn’t argue the point, I closed my mouth and remained quiet.

Parker scoffed and shook his head. “Betraying one of them is like betrayingallof them. If they found out about this, I could lose them. Every single one of them. And they’re the only people I have. You know this. You know I can’t lose them.”

I swallowed, starting to understand the gravity of the consequences for him.

“Alright, then.” I shrugged as if it were no big deal. “I guess that settles it; your answer’s no.” Placing my hands on the table, I shoved down my rejection with pride and said, “Totally understandable too. I get it. I’d make the same choice in your shoes. No harm, no foul. So why are you here?”

“Because,” he growled, leveling me with a heated glare. “You made me your fucking dying wish. What kind of asshole just blows that off?”

“I…” My stomach sank as his words took root. Swallowing hard, I rasped, “I guess I did just kind of dump a whole lot on your plate with my request, didn’t I?”

Parker sniffed bitterly and fell back in the chair. “Yeah, you did.” Crossing his arms moodily over his chest, he grumbled, “But what’s worse… What I hate the most about this whole thing...”

I sank deeper into my seat, pretty sure I didn’t want to know what he hated most about me. I was already feeling crappy enough for putting him into this situation in the first place.

But he rocked me to the core by saying, “From the moment you asked me to give you your first orgasm, it became mine.” Leaning closer, he sent me a look of stark need. “And I can’t handle the idea of anyone else taking what’smine. Ihaveto have you now.”

Unable to stop it, my body reacted. A current of blazing heat shot up the insides of my thighs as my breasts tightened, and pressure swelled between my legs.

“So what does this mean?” I asked, squirming uncomfortably to alleviate some of the desire because I knew I shouldn’t hope that a night with him would actually happen.

“I don’t know. God…” Surging back to his feet in renewed agitation, he went back to wearing a hole in my tiles. “I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself no matter what I choose.”

I winced, hating the guilt that rose up my throat.

I told myself it was enough that he actuallywantedto have sex with me. I didn’t completely repulse him. That was amazing. Satisfied with his mere willingness, I decided to throw him a lifeline so he could stop drowning in his shameful wishes.

And I cleared my throat. “You know what; I think you’re operating under the mistaken assumption that I gave you some kind ofopeninvitation when I made my request. I askedyesterday, pal.” Lifting my eyebrows archly, I added, “That door is closed now. My offer’soffthe table.”

The glower Parker sent me could peel bark off trees, I swear. Stalking back to the literal table, he slapped his palms against the surface and leaned over it to snarl, “Then reopen it.”

“Oh my God!” I blurted out a hard laugh, unable to believe him. I’d just given the bastard the perfect out, and he refused to take it. What the hell kind of bullshit was that?

Surging to my feet, I looked directly into his eyes from across the table and said, “No.” I was going to end the conflict for him no matter how much it hurt me.

He flashed his teeth at me and growled, “I don’t recall you giving me a deadline.”

“You stood up and walked off without saying a single fucking word.” With a careless shrug, I added, “I figured the issue was closed.”

“So, then… What?” he demanded. “You just went to someone else?”

I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest, thinking it best if he thought I had. “I’m running out of time here. I couldn’t wait forever.”

His expression changed, and all the color drained from his face. “I swear to God, Hope,” he breathed. “Did you go to someone else?”

“I don’t see why it matters. You don’t want to have sex with me and risk your friendship with Alec. Thissolvesyour problem. Why aren’t you fucking relieved?”

“Because Idowant to have sex with you!” he roared. “Have you not been listening to me? I want it so much it’s the only thing I can think about. I’ve been fucking hard since you dangled yourlittle piece of forbidden fruit in front of me and begged me to eat it. And now you justtossedit to someone else?” He ripped a hand through his hair, obviously stressed. “You are so un-fucking-believable, do you know that? You just?—”

“Holy shit, relax,” I groaned, pressing a hand to my brow. “You’re giving me a headache.”

“Well, you’re givingmeone.” Growling out a tormented sound, he demanded hoarsely, “Who did you go to?”

I whimpered my defeat and dropped my hands. “No one,” I confessed. “I didn’t—just no one. Okay? I didn’t go to anyone else.”

Parker stepped intently close, and the hope in his eyes made my whole body ache. “You didn’t sleep with anyone?” he asked carefully.

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