We didn’t say anything about meeting as we parted this evening, and I wonder if maybe he forgot.
It’s been heavy on my mind all day. What in the world could he possibly be wanting to ask me to do in payment for what he did for me?
Maybe this was all a ruse. I suppose I shouldn’t feel that way, but part of me does, just because I’ve been burned in that way before. Sometimes men are not very nice.
But Lucas isn’t that way. All of me feels like that, except the little voice that says that he’s a man, so he could do what other men have done.
I try to shush it and continue walking down the sidewalk, nodding to a few people I know in town, and watching as several people take down their festival decorations, happily smiling, as Christmas music pipes from somewhere, although I can’t find the source. A few little snowflakes flutter down. We’re supposed to get a few inches of lake-effect snow overnight. I say, bring it on. It’s that time of year, after all.
The hot chocolate vendor, Tessa, who was selling hot chocolate all day, is taking her stand down.
“I don’t suppose you want my last cup of hot chocolate?” she asks as she looks up and sees me walking toward her. “I hate to throw it away, but I am so ready to be done.”
“It was so busy today. I bet you had the best day ever, if not, close,” I say, nodding my head and holding out my hand. I am not the kind of person who turns down hot chocolate. Ever.
But I will give this to Lucas. I like the idea of not meeting him empty-handed.
She hands me the last cup and says, “I haven’t got the final count, but I passed my record in the early afternoon. This was a phenomenal day.”
We chat for a bit, but I’m very conscious of the passing of time. I don’t want to be late. Maybe he won’t show up, but I don’t want him to think that I don’t care enough to be on time.
I say goodbye to Rosie and hurry down the street, my hands wrapped around the steaming hot chocolate.
The church is on the edge of town, away from most of the lights, although the music has followed me here. And the snow, of course, is still coming down.
It takes me a moment, but I see Lucas standing on the other side, pacing, but he stops and lifts his head as though hearing me come, although I don’t know how he could. I’m not making any noise.
Still, I can tell when his eyes land on me, because his face breaks out in a grin.
He hurries to the steps, then he waits, allowing me to close the distance between us.
I stop in front of him, closer than I normally would have, but I guess after spending the day with him and thinking the things I did, I want to be close.
“I brought you a hot chocolate,” I say, holding up the cup. “It was the last one.”
“That’s funny. I must have gotten the second-to-last one,” he says, holding up a hot chocolate in his hand, and I see that it is unopened, and that makes me laugh. We have gotten hot chocolate for each other and hadn’t even known.
“I was afraid you would forget,” he says.
“I owe you. Of course I’m going to find out what I need to do to pay you.”
His lips tighten, and he looks like he disapproves. “I didn’t do that because I wanted you to feel like you owed me.”
“We both know I do,” I say.
“No. You don’t. I did it because…because I wanted to. I wanted to spend time with you, I wanted to help you. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Then why am I meeting you here?”
fourteen
. . .
Lucas
What a great question.I wanted to ask her out. I wanted to see if there could be more between us. That’s the goal. But the last time I started talking that way, she ran off.
She’s standing a little close, and I like it, but it’s…too tempting for me to put my arms around her, to put my fingers in her hair, to draw her close, to…kiss her.