Page 23 of Little Saint Nautilus

Nemo got down on his hands and knees and crawled into the cave. I smirked at theidea of him doing so completely naked. Thank God, no one had found him like that. It was a marvel he’d made it as far across the beach in the buff as he had. Well, fortunately, it had been early and cold.

I waited for Nemo to come back out. Waited several minutes. I didn’t expect it to take this long. I heard shuffling, scraping sounds from within the cave. I hunched down and called out. “Everything okay in there?”

“I…I don’t know.” Nemo’s voice had an edge of panic in it.

“What is it? What’s going on?”

More scraping and sludging. The sound of wet sand plopping. “I can’t…I can’t find it.”

The fear in his voice cut right into my heart. I didn’t know what that would mean for him, but I knew his shell was important. Standing outside the cave, I felt completely helpless. I could try to go in, but I didn’t think there would be room enough for both of us in there, and then I would feel more in the way than anything.

“Are you sure you have the right place? We passed a few other caves.” I felt bad for even asking. He migrated across oceans, I imagined he had a fair amount of directional instinct.

“It was this one, I know it. I buried it here, and I’ve looked all around, and I can’t find it.” Nemo sounded like he was about to cry, making the pain in my heart dig deeper.

“Do you want me to come in?” I asked. I knew it wasn’t logical, but I would feel like a complete shit if I didn’t offer. I would do it, though. For him, I already felt like I would do pretty much anything.

“No. Stay there. I need…I need some time.” Nemo sniffed loud enough I could hear it over the laps of the water.

“I’m right here, Nemo. I’m not going anywhere.” Feeling useless, I leaned against the rocks and put my head in my hands.

After a long few minutes, Nemo crawled back out of the space. When he stood, his eyes looked vacant, and he didn’t move. I tugged him to me and wrapped my arms around him. He was frozen in my grip for a moment before I felt his body tremble and a pained sound escaped him.

“Shh. I’ve got you, sweetheart. It’s okay.” I whispered meaningless encouragement, because the truth was, I didn’t know if he would be okay. I didn’t know enough about him or his kind. My hoodie grew damp where his face pressed into it.

Nemo sniffed hard and mumbled something I couldn’t hear. I lifted his chin so his face wasn’t buried in my chest. His cheeks were streaked with tears, making me hurt for this man nearly as much as I had when my knee had been shattered. “What did you say?”

“I…think…I’m…broken.” He sniffed between words before wiping a finger over his cheek. “I lost my shell and now the ocean is leaking from me.”

He looked so horrified by the tears, so naïve, that I almost wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t, not when he was as devastated as he was. “No, sweetheart, you’re not broken. Those are tears. It’s a natural thing that happens when emotions, either good or bad, feel too big to stay inside. They come out as tears. Every human’s tears are salty. It isn’t the ocean.”

“Nautili don’t have big emotions. Not like this. I don’t know if I like it.”

I kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back. “I know. It can be hard. But it can be wonderful, too. I’m not saying it is right now—I know it’s not—but there is good in it sometimes.”

I mentally scolded myself. Now probably wasn’t the best time for lessons on human-ness. Nemo clung to me, his hands gripping the back of my hoodie. “I lost my shell.”

“I’m so sorry. What…what does that mean to you?” Was it something fatal? Would he die without it? I sent up a quick prayer to anyone who might be listening, because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him when I’d only just found him.

Another loud sniff. “I cannot return to the sea without it.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. When I woke up in the hospital and was told they were doing everything they could to save my knee, the first thought I had was of surfing. The devastation of losing something that was a part of my daily life. Losing the sea felt like losing a limb. How much more so would it be for someone who livedinthe ocean, not simply played in it?

“I’m sorry, Nemo. I’m so sorry.” I continued rubbing his back, not sure what else to do but hold him.

“I don’t know what to do,” he said in a raspy whisper.

“Would you be able to sense it if it was nearby?”

Nemo pushed back from me and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, as if trying to dam the tears. When he let his hands fall, I reached out and used the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe away the remaining streaks on his cheeks.

“If I’m in the water, I can find it, like an invisible line I could follow to it. On land…I don’t know. I don’t have the same senses in my human form. Even in my hybrid form, the earth gives off very different vibrations than the sea. I’m not sure it would translate the messages sent to my brain in the same way.”

“Do you think it could be in the ocean? What if you change and go in the water?”

Nemo shifted his gaze to the calm water behind him. “I’m afraid of what will happen if I go in and I don’t feel it.”

“I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

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