Page 16 of Croatia Collateral

Giva laid her cheek against his chest again, her arms tightening around his waist. “I didn’t cry at their funeral. I was too numb. Then I was in the military, and soldiers don’t cry.” She drew in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said. “I cried enough for both of us when my wife died.”

He held her for another couple of minutes before she drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Giva straightened, letting her arms drop to her sides.

Dax released his hold on her, simultaneously taking a step back. “You okay?”

She nodded, scraping her hands over her face. “Actually, I feel much better. Like a weight has lifted from my chest.”

Dax smiled gently. “Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on, or a chest, you can call on me.”

Her lips twisted wryly. “Thanks. Although you might wish you hadn’t made that offer.”

“Never,” he said. “Now, wash your face and get some rest. I need you in top form to dress me like a billionaire. Never having been one, I wouldn’t know where to start.”

She laughed and graced him with her first genuine smile. “You’re on. Goodnight, Dax.”

“Evan,” he corrected. “Goodnight, Sasha.”

He stood in the sitting room until she’d gone to her bedroom and closed the door.

As he retreated to his room, everything they’d spoken of replayed in his mind. Neither one of them had dared to love again, unwilling to risk the pain of loss ever again. In the process, they hadn’t allowed themselves to be truly happy or experience the joy love could bring.

What was the quote by Lord Alfred Tennyson?

’Tis was better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all...

Coming to that realization on the veritable eve of embarking on a dangerous mission wasn’t the best timing for Dax.

The thought of loving someone again, like he’d loved Lana, nearly brought him to his knees. Could he? Would he feel guilty allowing himself to move on? Would he be disrespecting the memory of his wife?

The warmth of Giva’s body pressing against his lingered, making him remember what had been so great about having someone in his life. Not just the sex. It was knowing they were there for each other, sharing their hopes and dreams along with their failures and pain. He missed that.

He’d do best to table that realization and keep his heart closed to love, as he had for so long. At least until they made it out of Dubrovnik.

Alive.

Chapter 4

Giva slept better than she had in years. No nightmares of crying children in ragged clothing, no funerals with five caskets lined up. No faces of the friends she’d held in her arms as they’d bled out. No heavy feelings of guilt or regret weighing on her chest, making it hard to breathe.

Just a deep, cleansing sleep that left her feeling groggy the next morning with the hint of a headache she suspected was from having cried so hard.

When she dragged herself into the bathroom and got a look at her face in the mirror, she grimaced. Red-rimmed eyes, puffy bags beneath. Not the face of a woman living life to the fullest as the girlfriend and lover of one of the wealthiest men in the world.

Since leaving the military, she’d learned that makeup could hide a lot of sins of age and neglect. Now, she could include the ravages of succumbing to the weakness of tears.

Giva could kick herself for losing control of her emotions so completely—and she did it in front of her new partner for the mission ahead of them. Tears made her appear to be a pathetic excuse for a battle buddy.

Hadn’t she learned during Tironut, her IDF basic training, that soldiers don’t cry? She’d never shed a tear, even as she’d held a fellow soldier as he’d bled out.

With a twist of the faucet handle, she ran cold water into the sink and splashed her face. She hoped the chilly liquid would reduce the damage of the tears she’d soaked Dax’s shirt with the night before.

She’d have to be doubly badass from now until the completion of the mission to regain any semblance of respect from the man who needed her as an asset, not a liability. They were going up against some of the most dangerous men in the world.

She dried her face, sighed at her reflection and went to work on hiding the blemishes beneath a carefully crafted layer of makeup.

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