Page 10 of If You Loved Me

But that same happiness I felt for them was coated with envy and I hated that. I wished I could just be excited for them and not feel the grip of jealousy when I was forced to face the fact that I was veryveryalone.

I could hardly recall the last time a man even kissed me and I knew for a fact I’d never been in love. The only thing that held my attention these days was chasing the success ofmy business. I’d blamed my loneliness on that chase for a long time, but if I was honest with myself I was afraid. Terrified really. That if I let anyone close enough to love me they’d see all the things I tried so hard to hide and run away from.

I wondered what Ranger would think if he knew how judgmental my parents were. If he was the kind of man who would look past that and see that I was different—or that I at least tried really hard to be different.

“Thank you all so much for being here,” Willow started, drawing my thoughts back to the present.

“I have to say, I thought I would be surprised by the turnout today, but the truth is that this town and the people in it have always shown up for the greater good. Having grown up in theHope for All Orphanagemyself, I can say with certainty that it is because of the generosity of the people in Pebble Brook Falls that I was able to have clothes on my back, school supplies, and a few toys to open on Christmas. Today, I have the wonderful opportunity to give back to the next generation because of all your support.”

Willow found me in the crowd with her gaze and I gave her a wide smile and a subtle nod. She returned my smile with one of her own before continuing, “Without further ado, it is my greatest honor and pleasure to introduce everyone to the new home of theHope for All Orphanageat the Baxley Estate!”

Celebratory applause erupted from the crowd as Willow grabbed the giant pair of scissors from Johnny and cut the red ribbon. The final step to giving the forgotten children ofour town a home—so grand—that it would surely make them feel like they had a place in the world, even when all hope of fitting in had left them.

I stood in place, clapping my hands vigorously as the crowd shifted around me. Only a select few had ever gotten to see the inside of the Baxley Estate when Willow’s grandmother was still alive, so pure curiosity had everyone edging toward the front door for the tour.

Just before I took a step forward to find Willow and Johnny, the hairs on my arms stood on end. A presence I’d felt only a handful of times before had found me again. A spark that seemed to always find me, even if it had been gone for a long long while. It was the same fire that ignited in my belly a few days ago when I’d seen him in my bakery.

If I turned around, I knew I would find deep blue eyes that reflected the same depth of emotion as the ocean churning beneath a storm. The same stunning eyes I’d always admired from afar, hoping they’d land on me with more than gentle curiosity and kindness.

The sensation of his nearness lingered, taunting me to turn around and saysomething. Anything that would be worthy of his attention.

I can do this. I can talk to him and everything will go smoothly. I won’t stumble over my words at all.

At the end of my short-lived pep-talk, I found the courage to turn around and say hi to Ranger just as Willow called my name. My gaze flicked upward to where she was striding toward me.

The feel of Ranger at my back slowly dissipated and Itried not to look completely deflated at my lost opportunity. There had been plenty of chances for me to say hi to him—like at Deacon’s bonfire two summers ago. But I let every chance I had of talking to my childhood crush slip between my fingers like warm butter. The biggest problem was that Ranger Adams was—by far—the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. With inky black hair that peeked out from the rim of his cowboy hat, sapphire blue eyes, towering height that dwarfed me, a beard that I’d daydreamed on more than one occasion of sitting on, and …yeah. Okay. Maybe I was a little obsessed with Ranger Adams.

But what girl didn’t want a tall, dark, and brutally handsome cowboy? He was the one and only man that had crossed my mind in all the years I’d spent chasing my dream. And that somehow made him completely unobtainable.

“What did you think of the speech?” Willow asked, warding away my thoughts of unfilled fantasies. “I didn’t want it to be too long or too short. But, I don’t know. Maybe I should have included more about my own upbringing. Or thanking the townsfolk more. Or?—”

“Willow, stop.” I braced my hands in front of her. “You shouldn’t want to change a thing about your speech because it was absolutely perfect.” I smiled widely at her.

“Really?” she crooned as silver lined her eyes. “You really think so?”

“I do! You know I would tell you if I thought otherwise, but it was perfect. And I am so dang proud of you.” Taking her into my arms, I squeezed her tightly, just like I used to do when we were kids.

“Thank you.”

We pulled apart and she reached down, grabbing my hand. “Come on. I want to show you the finished renovations.”

“Okay,” I said a little too quickly as I stole a glance over my shoulder, scanning the scattered crowd for any sign of Ranger.

“Looking for someone?” Willow’s brows were pinched.

“Nope!” I replied because the truth was that even if I did see Ranger, I was too much of a coward to actually do anything about it. And even if I did find my bravery and say something to him, I knew it could never go anywhere. There were expectations for girls like me and if I thought about bringing a guy like Ranger Adams home to meet my family, there would be hell to pay and I didn’t want to put him through that kind of torture.

So, I let the thought of seeing him go and let myself fall away to the excitement my best friend had as she showed me all the amazing renovations she did to the Baxley Estate to ensure the orphanage’s children would feel right at home.

Chapter 5

Ranger

With my left hand braced against the shower wall, I ran my right hand up and down my shaft. Squeezing harder as I got to the base and softer as my calloused palm edged closer to the head of my cock with each stroke.

Long dark hair and espresso-colored eyes flooded my mind as I imagined Sarah kneeling before me, taking my length in her small hands and stroking me up and down until she finally stopped teasing me and pulled me past those delicious pink lips and into her mouth where her warm tongue swirled over my tip.

Holy fuck.

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