Page 11 of If You Loved Me

Curling my fingertips against the tiled wall, my balls tightened against me as I shot a load all over the floor of the shower. Hot cum coated my hand for a few moments before the water washed it all away.

My breaths were quick and even though I finished in an embarrassingly short amount of time, the conjured image ofSarah still played out in my mind. But this time, instead of her kneeling before me, we were back in her bakery and I watched her bend over as she placed muffin after muffin in the pink box she balanced with one hand. Her tight little ass poked out in her skin-tight jeans and I wondered what kind of exercise she did to keep that perfect peach.

Then I quietly chastised myself for letting my thoughts stray way too far because this woman was far beyond my reach. Hell, she probably stuttered over her words because she was afraid of me. All alone in her bakery before the townsfolk were even out of bed sipping on their first cup of coffee. The one guy she probably didn’t want to be alone with had bombarded her.

Not that I blamed her.

LeRoy’s lawyer made me look like a fucking douchebag who enjoyed being violent. Even though I’d served my time, I was sure there was still some hesitation in people’s ability to trust that I wasn’t actually the bad guy. I hoped Sarah didn’t see me that way.

When I saw her yesterday at the grand re-opening of theHope for All OrphanageI had an urgency to pull her aside and talk to her. To tell her that the rumors about me weren’t true. They’d been orchestrated by a family with a lot more power and money than I’d probably ever have.

I was so close yesterday to reaching out and touching her arm to grab her attention before Willow got ahold of her first.

It was probably for the best because Sarah had her entire life ahead of her. She didn’t need to be bogged down with aguy like me who had a rap sheet for a violent offense. Being with me would only bring chaos into her life.

As I finished my shower, I told myself I would leave Sarah Williams alone. That no matter how difficult it might be to stay away from her, it wasn’t right for me to interfere with her life knowing how it would likely cause the town another uproar.

“Geez. I thought you were going to use up all the hot water on the ranch for how long you were in the shower,” Callie Rose said to me as I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where she was leaning against the counter, a plate full of eggs in her hand.

“What the hell were you...” Her eyes grew big as she realized the answer to her unfinished question. “Nope!” she yelled. “Never mind. I donotwant to know.”

“Are you sure?” I snickered. “Because it sounds like you were interested in how I wrapped my hand aro?—”

“Nope!” Callie Rose cut me off. “I’m perfectly happy not knowing what my brother does in his spare time. Even if he does use up all the hot water. Just keep those little tidbits to yourself, thank you very much.”

I chuckled while she maintained a look of pure horror and disgust on her face. “Where’s Miles?” I asked.

“I already made him breakfast. He wanted to get a headstart on tagging the calves since you’ll be missing this afternoon to help me with the orchard.”

“Mmm. Good call.”

She reached behind her and grabbed the extra plate of eggs and sausage and handed it to me. The savory notes hit my nose and my stomach immediately clenched from hunger pains. “Thank you for making breakfast.” The words came out garbled as I talked around the big bite of food I’d taken.

“No problem.”

Just like most mornings, we stood together in comfortable silence. When I finished, I washed off my plate and put it on the drying rack next to the sink before turning back to my sister and noticing she had a faraway look on her face.

“What’s going on?”

She blinked out of her daze and looked at me. “I was just thinking about how it’ll be fifteen years since we lost dad this month. And fourteen since we lost mom.”

I didn’t like to think about it. All that we had lost because of the war. Dad was my best friend and even though he didn’t want the ranch life for himself, he taught me everything he knew from his father because he could see how much I loved it. Riding over the green hills under the big open sky, herding the cattle and caring for them. Showing the animals the respect they deserved for the nourishment they would bring to our bodies. I’d always loved it and no matter the differences we had, my father had always supported me and my dream of taking over the ranch one day.

And I’d loved listening to his stories of traveling the world during his deployments. He always had a way offinding something in common with people, even if they were wildly different. That was what I missed most about him. The lessons he taught Callie Rose and me. All the family talks we would have under the stars surrounding the fire pit.

When we lost him I was devastated. It felt like the world was crumbling around me and I was floating through life with no clear direction. But I saw the way his death impacted mom and I knew I needed to take care of Callie Rose. She was so young and still needed a lot of attention—as all children do. Mom wasn’t able to give it to her. The depression had kicked in…settled too deep. Until one day, Callie Rose and I made our way downstairs for breakfast to find a note on the counter saying she was sorry but she had to go.

I guessed being here was too much of a reminder of the love she lost. I had just turned eighteen and Callie Rose was only twelve. It wasn’t the most ideal situation, but we made it work.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “September is always a hard month, isn’t it?”

She nodded slowly. “Do you think he would be happy about the orchard?” Her voice caught with emotion, pulling on my own heart.

I strode over to her and took her in a side hug, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze toward my chest.

“He would have loved it. This land has been in our family for five generations. Knowing you were making it your own—using it for something that brings you joy—would make him damn proud.”

“Really?” She rubbed the back of her hand under her nose and sniffed.

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