Page 45 of If You Loved Me

“Sorry,” Stephanie whispered. “I didn’t mean to distract you.”

I bit my bottom lip as the tan color of my wrist started toturn bright pink from the burn. Thankfully I was quick enough that it didn’t look too big, but it still hurt like hell.

“No, Steph. You’re fine. I’m just moving a little too quickly this morning,” I glanced over my shoulder at her concerned face and shot her a smile.

“Okay.” She smiled back. “I’m going to get back out there. But I wanted to let you know that the biddies are in full force today. It’s like they all crawled out of their knitting caves to come here. So we will probably need some more scones soon.”

“Thanks,” I laughed. “I’ll get started on a batch right now.” The biddies had a hankering for my blueberry and orange scones and the last thing I wanted to do was piss one of them off by not supplying their demand.

I heard the kitchen door snick shut as Stephanie went back to manning the cashier. I carefully dried my injured wrist and grabbed some Neosporin from my emergency medical kit before I gently wrapped it with some gauze and tape.

Leaning against the cool metal counter, I stole a few deep breaths. Today was wild and even though I told Stephanie that I didn’t take an ad out in the paper, I’d neglected to tell her that it was all my mother’s doing.

Stephanie and I had always been close as cousins, but I didn’t want anyone to know that I had given in to my mother’s demands and gone on a date with a man of her choosing. Especially when that date had gone awry. When I’d left dinner with Jones last night, I was feeling so awful that I almost called my mother on my way home to tell her that thedeal was off. I couldn’t continue faking my feelings when I knew without a doubt the possibility of me falling for Jones was zilch.

But I stopped myself when I thought of what her influence and support could do for my dreams. I told myself that I’d just see if she was going to be true to her word before I made any hasty decisions.

My bakery had done fairly well over the years, but there was no doubt that today’s payout would likely be almost as much as I normally brought in over a week. The numbers were huge and all I could see was it turning into a giant leap toward my bigger goals.

Maybe I was selling my soul to the devil, but that little girl inside of me still ached for her mother’s approval. That part of me saw beyond the dreams of becoming a famous wedding cake designer to an ever bigger dream of having her mother be proud of who she was. It was a quiet dream. One that I kept only for myself. And I was probably an idiot for even thinking it could happen. That someday she’d look at me with love in her eyes and I would know that I’d finally done something right.

I hoped for that day and yet I had a feeling deep down that it would never come.

There was about a thirty-minute lull in the late afternoon before the early evening rush hit and I was pretty sure I had about every baking ingredient splattered somewhere on my body when Ranger Adams walked through my kitchen door.

I stilled as I took in his large frame. His cowboy hat was missing today, but those dark wavy locks had me desperate to run my hands through them. There was no stopping the immediate reaction my body had to seeing his exposed forearms flex as he shut the door behind him. I hardly registered the flowers he had in his hand as he strode toward me and extended his hands.

Bundled together in a twine wrapped paper bouquet was a mixture of vibrant wildflowers with shades of deep purple, bright yellow, and pink.

I reached for them, but quickly remembered I had frosting all over my fingers from the round of cupcakes I was frosting before he’d come in. Feeling my face flush, I raced for the sink and started scrubbing my hands together with soap and water.

When I finished drying them, I turned to face him and smiled. “Those flowers are beautiful.” He extended them toward me and when my fingers brushed against his, I felt a jolt run down my arm. I couldn’t control how my body reacted when he was around.

Keeping the bundle of flowers in front of me, I tried to hide the mess on my apron. He took two steps closer to me. I backed up, feeling overwhelmed by his presence and insecure with the amount of baking ingredients splattered allover me. I definitely wasn’t looking my best and certainly wasn’t worthy of this man’s presence given my state.

“You don’t need to hide yourself from me.” His voice was low, his blue eyes piercing. Then he reached out and tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. His fingers were rough as he trailed them down the side of my neck. I loved how I could feel the history of his hands beneath his touch. Like every day of hard work was etched into them and his touch was a glimpse into all those moments.

He leaned down until I felt the heat of his breath against my ear. “You’ve been haunting my thoughts, Sarah Williams. I couldn’t stay away any longer.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” I whispered as he leaned back and I was able to get the full view of his devastatingly handsome face. He was so different from most of the men I’d grown up around. A life of pain and struggle flickered in his eyes, but there was strength there too. A sheer will to keep going and to find something good.

Maybe I was his something good. It was a dangerous thought for a woman like me. I didn’t have much to give with my lack of romantic experience and a life wrapped around a dream that had nothing to do with finding love.

His lips pulled to one side as he smiled and it was nearly my undoing. I had a feeling there were very few in this world who ever saw the vulnerability in the look he gave me now.

“Looks like a busy day today.” It took every bit of concentration I had to focus on his words and not how his hands settled on my hips. Just resting with ease, like they belonged there.

I swallowed, rememberingwhymy bakery was filled beyond capacity today. I’d gone on a date with another man to please my mother’s wish for me to find a suitable partner.

Right.

I was a piece of shit coward who gave in to my mother’s demands instead of standing up for myself. I went on a date with a guy I wasn’t even attracted to when the man standing in front of me was everything I’d ever wanted. And I wasn’t going to tell him. I couldn’t. Not when he looked at me like I was the answer to every problem he’d ever had. Not when my body was desperate for him to claim mine.

I couldn’t ruin my chances with this. And I couldn’t let my dreams slip away either.

Piece.Of.Shit.Coward. My mind was relentless and all the heat I’d felt just moments before had been doused with a bucket of ice water.

“Yeah,” I croaked. When I looked into his blazing blue eyes, I could feel the words stinging on my tongue. I wanted to tell him everything. How I was terrified of how quickly I was falling for him and how I was likely making one of the biggest mistakes of my life by giving in to my mom’s wishes. I wanted to tell him that I felt like I had no other choice but to go on dates with Jones for fear that my mother’s wrath would destroy everything I’d built for myself.

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