Page 52 of If You Loved Me

“Do you think you will still be working at the bakery when you have children?” Jones’s question washed over me like a bucket of ice water, chilling me to the bone. Mostly because I’d never really considered children. I’d been so focused on my career that I didn’t even make time for a boyfriend, let alone think about having children.

But my mind immediately flickered to images of a little dark-haired boy with striking blue eyes running through a field on a ranch I’d never even seen before. I swore I could smell the scent of leather and feel the warmth of Ranger’s touch like we were back atHarry's Orchardwalking hand-in-hand.

Jones may have been the one to ask the question, but it was Ranger who my mind went to. I wasn’t sure what I wanted when it came to my career and having children. Having Ranger in my life made me think things could look different from how I’d always imagined them.

I looked up from my mostly eaten bowl of ice cream to Jones with his dusty blonde hair and clean-shaven jaw suddenly feeling protective over my wants and desires. There was no part of me that wanted to share my thoughts with him. I would appease my mother and go on these dates with him until I could find a way out of our agreement without my business taking a major hit. But I wouldn’t let him have the parts of me that belonged to someone else.

“I don’t know,” I smiled sweetly at him. “I’m sure when the time comes for me to have children, I’ll know what I want to do then. What about you? Would you mind if your wife was the one to work while you stayed home raising your children?”

A tactical question and he took the bait. “I think a more traditional household suits my wants best. I’d love for my wife to be at home with our children so I can keep the family business going strong. My father’s real estate business was passed down from his father and so on. It would be a shame to let all that history go.”

“A shame indeed,” was my only reply before I asked him more questions about the transgenerational business the men in his family cultivated. A question I hoped would distract him from asking me anything else.

The last thirty minutes of our date-but-really-it-wasn’t-a-date droned on as I listened to him tell me of the great men in his family. Which, if I was honest, they did sound like high-achieving people. I had to refrain from asking him about the women out of spite. Mostly because I already knew the answer to my question. The women were there to rear the children, make homecooked meals, and attend to their husbands.

It was an honorable life. One that many women chose with pride. Being a caregiver to those you love seemed like a great way to live life. The problem I had with men like Jones was that they didn’t give their women a choice. It was anexpectation. The men in his family very clearly stood in front of their wives, not next to them.

By the time we’d tossed our empty bowls of ice cream and he’d walked me to my car, I was aching to get away from his monotonous reminders of the life I’d already tried to shed once. I wanted to be in the arms of a man who looked at me like I was the stars in the night sky. To feel the press of his lips against mine as he ruined me for anyone else.

I needed a way out of the mess I’d made by giving in to my mother’s deal. And I needed it quickly.

“Would you like to come back to my place for a cup of coffee? I just had a shipment of Blue Mountain Jamaican beans come in yesterday. It’s supposed to be some of thefinest coffee in the world.” He winked at me and I felt my stomach roil. The more time I spent with Jones, the more I felt like he was trying to get to a part of me I wasn’t willing to give. He was certainly pulling out all the stops to bring me home, but I wasn’t having any of it.

“I appreciate the offer, but I need to get back to the bakery. I don’t like leaving Stephanie there to manage everything for too long without me.”

Frustration flashed in his eyes and for a moment I thought he might tell me off but all he said was, “I get it. You’re a hard-working woman. Next time then.”

I loosed the breath I was holding and gave him a small nod. “Mhm,” was all I managed to say.

How the hell am I going to get out of this?Jones was proving to be persistent and if I didn’t find a way to end things soon, I had a feeling everything was going to blow up in my face.

When he hugged me goodbye, it took everything I had not to be stiff as a board against him. It was allwrongand it only made me crave Ranger’s touch more. The feel of his strong body against mine as he held me close. How his warmth seeped into my bones, giving me life.

I was thankful when Jones and I parted and I finally found the respite I needed alone in my car. He drove off in his BMW and I watched the tail lights of his car disappear around the bend before I let my head rest on the seat.

Just as I closed my eyes, my phone went off. I dished it out of my purse and saw a text message.

Ranger

Hi sugar, are you free this weekend?

My heart thundered in my chest as my fingers glided over the glass screen.

Yes! What do you have planned for me?

I took a deep breath in, trying to calm my racing heart.

Another surprise. And no, I’m not giving any hints.

Can’t wait. ??

I slipped my phone back into my purse and turned the key into the ignition. As the engine thrummed to life and I drove back towards town I knew I had to end it with Jones and face my mother’s wrath.

There was no way I could do this on my own.

It was time to call in reinforcements.

Chapter 23

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