Page 55 of If You Loved Me

“What aren’t you telling us?” Deacon asked.

I looked down at my fingernails and the tiny dots of paint that coated my nails and skin. It seemed so stupid now that I was saying everything out loud, but they didn’t know my mother the way I did. Well…maybe Willow understood. She’d been around my house enough growing up that she saw what it was like when my parents started in on me.

I think it hurt most of all that I was even in this position. That my parents not only lacked the ability to accept me for who I was and what I wanted for myself, but they were willing to manipulate me so that I was forced to twist myself into their mold.

I hated that tears hit the back of my eyes as I said, “It’s hard to explain, but I saw the look in my mother’s eyes when she came to me with this deal. I might have had a fighting chance if I’d been smart enough to turn her down. But if I renege on my end of the bargain, she will make sure I pay the consequences.”

“You think she’d be that spiteful?” Anger flashed across Willow’s face.

I half-laughed. “There’s no doubt in my mind that she would do whatever she could to ruin my chances of taking my bakery to the next level. You saw how easy it was for her to contact Tommy’s mom and prevent me from making his birthday party treats. Imagine what she could do for bigger accounts. My parents’ reach is far in this state.” I spread my arms wide. “Hell, it spans the entire country.”

“Money certainly does transcend a lot of barriers,”Deacon commented. “But damn, Sarah. To let her rule you in this way with something as personal as choosing who to date.” He whistled, the high-pitched sound ending in a low octave. “You deserve a hell of a lot better than that.” Johnny and Willow nodded in agreement.

There they were. The three mirrors of my colossal mistake. I gave my mother an inch and I knew she’d take it a hundred miles if given the chance.

“I can’t risk my business y’all. I’ve worked so damn hard to get where I am.”

“And that’s exactly why you need to stand up for yourself and end things with Jones.” Willow stepped toward me, fire burning in her eyes. “If you let her dictate this part of your life, you’ll regret it, Sarah. I saw the way you and Ranger look at one another. There’s something really special between the two of you and if your mother gets in the way of that, you’ll hate yourself for it.”

She was right. Ranger and I were still new, but there was something undeniable between us. I craved his presence like I craved being in my kitchen. It felt like maybe he was the missing piece in my life and if I leaned into what we had, I’d finally be able to let go of the fear that I wasn’t enough. Because he always made me feel like I was more than enough.

“What if she lashes out and tells everyone not to use my services? What if the entire town deserts my bakery and I end up going bankrupt? What?—”

“Stop.” Willow’s voice was firm as I stared at her wide-eyed. Every one of my fears tingled on my lips,desperate for release. “One, even if she did become spiteful and told people not to use your services, there’s no way anyone could stay away for long when you are the most talented baker and cake designer this town has ever seen. Two, you have the three of us in your corner and even though your parents have sway over some people, your best friend so happens to be the wealthiest woman in this entire state. All the people she has sway over will follow my lead of showing you support. They can’t help themselves. Not when it comes to following who has the most money.”

Yes. I’d forgotten the power my best friend now had and the influence she could yield if need be. The fact that she would be willing to do that had my eyes burning hotter, tears threatening to spill.

Maybe I didn’t have supportive parents. But I did have the most incredible friends—a found family of sorts. The fear started to settle, shifting into something that felt like shaky confidence. If I had my friends to support me through this, then maybe I could face my mother’s consequences. Maybe I would have a chance of not totally ruining things with Ranger—the man who made me feel like there was so much more to life than I’d ever let myself imagine.

“You really think I can do this without her destroying my business?” My voice came out softer than I wanted it to.

“Of course.” Willow said at the same time Johnny and Deacon replied, “Yes!”

I buried my face in my hands, a hopeful smile tugging at the corners of my lips. I needed this. The confidence theygave me. I needed it more than I knew at the time I called for the emergency gathering.

“Okay.” I sucked in a lungful of breath. “How am I going to do this?”

They all started glancing around the room, lost in thought as to the best way to approach it.

Deacon spoke first. “I think you should end things with Jones in person. The last thing you want to give your mother is more ammunition in how you’re failing the laws of Southern propriety. If you let him down gently in a respectful way, you can stand firm knowing you made the right decision in that.”

I studied the wooden floors of his cabin for a moment. “Yeah.” I nodded. “I think you’re right about that. As much as Idon’twant to go on another date with him, he’s been nice enough to deserve a proper letdown. Honestly, I don’t think I have it in me to end it over text or a phone call even if he was a total jackass.”

Jones might not have been my knight in shining armor and he certainly maintained some values that were in complete misalignment with my own, but I wanted to be dignified in how I broke things off with him. If not for him, then for me. There was no reason for me to lower my standards just because he wasn’t the right fit for me.

“Okay,” Willow said. “I agree with letting Jones down in person. But that will mean giving your mother and whoever else more time to spread the news that you’re still seeing each other. Ranger could easily get wind of that information. What are you going to do about that?”

My stomach immediately clinched at the thought of Ranger finding out I was dating someone else while seeing him. Even if there was no connection between Jones and me from the start, I was still omitting the truth and spending time with another man.

“I’m supposed to see him tomorrow at his ranch. I can tell him everything then so he hears it from me and not someone else around town. I’ll be able to tell him that my only intention with Jones was to gain my mother’s support.”

Everything sounded perfect as I said it out loud. It was the right plan with good intentions, but that didn’t mean I would be brave enough to say it to his face. I quietly hoped that when the time came tomorrow, I’d be able to tell him the truth instead of running away from it.

Johnny said, “Ranger seems like a pretty reasonable guy. If you tell him the backstory about your mom, he might be a little ticked that you weren’t honest to begin with, but I’m sure he’ll come around.”

“Right.” I ran my palms over my jeans to rid them of the sweat that started pooling. “Just tell him everything.”

Willow took a final step towards me, bringing me into her embrace. “There’s nothing to worry about, Sarah. We’ve all got your back, even if something does go awry.” She let me go and looked into my eyes. “You can do this.”

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