Page 18 of Broken Saint

She watches me closely as I finally start being honest with myself.

“I’m not happy, and I don’t know how to fix it. Chad was great at the beginning, but I was too broken to see the truth. He wanted me weak. He wanted everything on his terms. He wanted me as nothing more than a glorified pet that he could parade around when it suited him and keep locked away at home when it didn’t.”

If I were admitting this to anyone else, I’d be terrified of the pity I might see staring back at me. But not Letty. She knows. She gets it. Hell, she’s been there, and she rebuilt her life into something millions of women worldwide crave. And I’m not just talking about the sexy hubby, either.

Instead, I see empathy and compassion in my best friend’s watery eyes.

“What do you want, Ella?”

Biting down on the inside of my lip, I think about that question.

She’s not asking me about my dream job, the perfect man or anything superficial. She’s asking for something deeper. Something a hell of a lot more painful to admit.

“I-I want—” I blow out a breath. “I want to be happy with the person I am now. I want to be confident again despite…” I wave my hand over my body. “This. And I want to smile and mean it. Like I used to.”

“Firstly, you’re beautiful. Your curves are insane. Men would fall over themselves for a pair of tits and an ass like that. But I know that hearing it from me doesn’t help. And secondly, the fact you’ve just admitted that is half the battle.

“The world is your oyster, Ella. You’re young, beautiful and incredibly smart. What are you going to do with it?”

5

ELLA

“There he is,” I cry happily when Letty finally returns with a little bundle of energy in her arms.

Despite not seeing me for a long time, the second Kyan’s eyes land on me, they light up, right along with the widest smile I think I’ve ever seen. Both do wonders for my self-esteem. Add that to the margaritas and I’m feeling better than I have in a long time.

“I’m excited to see you too, baby boy. Are you going to show me your new moves?” I ask happily as Letty lowers him to the ground at the entrance to the kitchen. On the opposite side of the room, I’m sitting on the edge of the couch, excitedly waiting to watch the new development in his life.

It takes him a couple of seconds, but after a few wobbles, he successfully gets to his feet and takes a step.

“Look at you go,” I breathe as he builds up speed in his mission to get to me.

Tears well in my eyes as I fully realize just how much of his life—all of my friends’ lives— I’ve missed out on in the past few years while I’ve been drowning in misery and fighting for a relationship that I’m pretty sure was doomed from the start.

Isn’t it amazing the level of clarity a handful of Letty’s margaritas and a couple of thousand miles can bring?

“Kyan, you are such a big boy,” I praise, barely holding myself together when he finally gets to me and climbs up into my lap before I get the chance to do it for him.

Where did that tiny baby go?

You missed it, Ella. Just like you’ve missed everything.

With that depressing reality check, I pull him into my chest and drop my lips to his head, breathing in his scent.

“Look at those teeth,” I say when he smiles up at me.

My heart seizes in my throat as I look over his features. His skin is the perfect blend of Letty’s darker tone and Kane’s light. His hair is all her, dark and luscious, but his eyes…it’s like they’ve been plucked straight out of Kane Legend’s face.

One thing is for sure. Kyan Legend will be breaking hearts all over the country one day. If he has even half the skills on the football field that his father does, the female population is fucked. Utterly fucked.

He babbles away as if we’re old friends with a lifetime of things to catch up on while Letty prepares him some food, answering his baby talk as if she’s fluent. Which, I guess, she probably is at this point.

We chat away about him while I tickle his belly, making him squeal in delight.

Seriously, I could do this every day.

I know what Letty said about him struggling without Kane being around is true, but right now, he’s the happiest baby in the world.

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