Page 44 of Broken Saint

“I know, but…was it really what you wanted?” I ask bravely.

She blows out a long, slow breath before finally turning her head toward me.

“I don’t think I knew what I wanted back then,” she confesses, searching my eyes like she used to, trying to dig up all my darkest secrets.

“And what about now?” I find myself asking.

“Now?” She laughs sadly. “Now it’s even worse than ever. I’m a mess. My life is a mess. Everything is just so fucked?—”

“You’re perfect,” I blurt, unable to listen to her talk about herself like that.

Her eyelids lower, cutting her off from me.

Unable to resist the urge to touch her any longer, I reach out and grab her hip, pulling her onto her side. There are only a couple of inches between us, and my body temperature picks up as I remember vividly how electric we used to be together.

More than a few years might have passed, but something tells me that nothing will have changed. I can already feel it crackling between us.

“Ella,” I breathe, my hand sliding to the dip of her waist, my grip on her tightening as my need only grows.

I haven’t felt this connection, this powerful desire for someone is in so fucking long. I’d started to think I was broken. That I’d maxed out on my sex quota during the past few years or something. Turns out that I might just have been bored with all the jersey chasers.

Could I be subconsciously searching for something more than a quick and dirty hookup?

No, that can’t be it.

I don’t want serious.

I don’t do serious.

I can’t do serious.

Her eyes flutter open, revealing her mesmerizing honey orbs that are hiding beneath, and my breath catches.

The dark shadows that I don’t ever remember seeing before are still there, but there’s something else as well.

Desire?

Fuck, I hope so, because I need her more than I need to breathe right now.

I lean forward, ready to throw caution to the wind and jump straight down memory lane, but my actions are halted when she speaks.

“My dad died.”

“Shit, El. I’m sorry.”

I shift closer, bringing my body just within touching distance to hers.

“It was…it was really hard. I was in a really bad place, and when I bumped into Chad again…” She shakes her head while red-hot fury lashes at my insides at just the mention of his name. And yeah, okay, there could be a little jealousy in there too.

That motherfucker has had her for years. Asked her to marry him, and then what? Fucked it up?

What a fucking idiot.

Just like you,alittle voice says.You had her and let her go too.

“He gave me everything I thought I needed. I mean, he did at the beginning, but—” She slams her lips closed, cutting her words off.

“But?”

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