Page 12 of It Takes Three To Tango

“Why, yes, of course, Judy Garland.” Rafe answers, smiling briefly up at Florencio before turning back to Estrella. “Do you know Joan Collins?”

“Ah, Joan is three weeks older than me, and would she ever let me forget it?”

Florencio tilts his head and raises an eyebrow at me. I understand him perfectly—this guy is supposed to be straight. I shrug at him and see his silent chuckle.

Florencio offers pre-dinner drinks and I sit across from where Rafe is talking animatedly with Estrella, watching them and wondering who exactly Rafe is.

Dinner is delicious. Estrella tells us that the chef, Sofia, is the sister of her housekeeper, Juana, and caters specifically for customers holding dinner parties in their homes. Juana hovers in the background, trying to be unobtrusive, but is clearly concerned about her charge.

We’ve been entertained with stories of Estrella’s past and some of the stars she met on a couple of brief trips she took to Hollywood nearly fifty years ago. Now, there’s a lull while thedessert plates are being cleared. Rafe sits back, looking round the table.

“Do you know, if you’d told me a month ago that I’d be eating dinner with Estrella Winters in her own house, I’d think you were mad.”

“What did you think you’d be doing instead?” I ask. I’ve always been intrigued by him. I know he’s a writer and smart, but I also know there’s a story to why he’s here and why, the first night I met him, he looked like he’d lost everything.

“I would have said that I’d be happily married, having a great honeymoon, and looking forward to returning home and getting sucked into writing my new series,” he replies and drops his eyes briefly before looking back up, his mouth a thin line. “But none of that happened.”

It’s not what I was expecting. I can’t quite imagine him with a wife, maybe because I don’t want to. Don’t I? I’m not sure where that thought came from. I glance over at Florencio and he’s giving Rafe a curious look.

“Would you have been happy? Being married?” It’s Estrella who voices what we’re all thinking.

“I thought I would, but now I’m not sure. Everything happened so fast, and every time I think about it, all I get is a lot of confusion. I don’t even know whether I was really in love.

“You’d know if you were in love.” I didn’t mean to blurt it out. Estrella gives me a shrewd look.

“What’s it like? Being in love?” Florencio asks.

I think for a minute before answering. How can I possibly condense it to answer the question properly? How can I put the vastness of love into words? But Florencio is looking at me like he genuinely wants an answer.

“Have you ever felt like you would do anything to put a smile on someone else’s face?

“Like every time you wake you discover a fresh new world where the colours are brighter, your senses sharper?

“Felt your heart so full that your chest cannot contain it and it must be shining so brightly that everyone must be able to see it?

“Like you would do anything, even cut off your own arm, rather than let any harm come to the one you love?”

I stop speaking and look round at them.

Estrella is smiling knowingly. Florencio has a hand pressed to his chest, a dreamy expression on his face. Rafe, though, is frowning, his eyes lowered as if he’s going through some internal process. He lifts his head and gives a wistful smile.

“I said you were a romantic.”

“It isn’t about romance,” I say sharply. “Romance is the fluff, the small things in the gestures we do. Love is more than that, much more. It’s something that weaves its way into every fibre of your being. It becomes symbiotic in your soul, like you can’t exist without that part of you anymore.”

“Then no, I’ve never felt that.” Rafe’s eyes shimmer as if he’s trying to discover something past his grasp.

“It must be wonderful,” Florencio sighs.

“It’s also a curse,” I bite out. The whole exchange has brought up the memory of despair along with the euphoria.

“I’m not sure I’m capable of that depth of emotion. It feels too big for someone to bear. I don’t think I’m strong enough.” Rafe’s voice is despondent.

“Strength has nothing to do with it,” Estrella says. “We are never given more than we can bear. It’s just a matter of being open to love.”

“Auntie, have you been in love?” Florencio asks.

“Only once, though I’ve had many lovers.” She smiles serenely.

---