Page 62 of Friend Zone to End Zone

When I didn’t say anything, Cole asked, “Do you mind telling me what happened? I’ve always been a little curious.”

I took another long sip from my wine, knowing that I’d need its special powers to help me get through the conversation I’d been putting off for years.

“So it’s that kind of conversation?” Cole asked, noticing that I’d drained most of my wine already.

“You might want to buckle up for this.” And while I was at it, I decided I might as well pour myself another glass. “I’m not exactly sure where to start, so I’ll just start with the beginning of when things went downhill for me.” I took another sip for good measure then set my glass back on the table. “I guess it started when I was a senior in high school. Vincent had just been drafted to the NFL and things were kind of crazy at home. My parents were really excited for him and the whole town was basically celebrating its very own golden boy being a first-draft pick and destined to do amazing things.” I peeked up at Cole, knowing this was probably going to make me sound like a brat. “Anyway, I guess I was pretty jealous of all the attention he was getting because I felt like it should be my year to shine since I was graduating high school. So I started acting out to get more attention. It wasn’t exactly positive attention, but I guess negative attention is sometimes better than no attention at all.”

“I can understand that.” Cole seemed to consider it. “Can’t say I haven’t ever done things I regretted later just because I wanted someone to notice me.”

I doubted he’d ever acted out as badly as I had, though.

I sighed, remembering back to how stubborn and stupid I’d been back then. If I’d only listened to my parents and not been so desperate to prove my independence, I could have saved myself so much heartache.

But that’s the way life went, I supposed. You sometimes had to experience hard things to learn the biggest lessons and grow from them.

And thankfully, I’d at least learned my lesson in time to spend the last few years of my dad’s life with him before he’d died.

“Anyway, I ended up dating a guy that my parents hated. They were even more conservative back then and didn’t want me dating anyone exclusively—and they especially didn’t want me to be having sex or anything like that.” Which, now that I was older and had experienced what I had, I could totally understand their reasoning. “So, since you know that telling a teenager they can’t do something is basically inviting them to do it, I ended up sneaking around with him all the time and got into partying pretty hard on the weekends and had my first experiences with alcohol and drugs before I was eighteen.”

“Really?” Cole pulled his head back, like he’d never considered me being involved in any of that.

Which I couldn’t blame him for. I had done a pretty good job of pretending to be the perfect girl from Alabama the past few years.

I drew in a deep breath. “Anyway, things got really bad at home after that and my mom and I butted heads a lot. And when I turned eighteen, I decided to exert my new freedom of being an adult and moved in with my boyfriend.”

I studied Cole’s face. Was he disappointed? Was he judging me?

Was he suddenly wishing he hadn’t done all of these amazing things for me now that he knew more of my history?

But when I only found surprise in his eyes and nothing else to make me think he was considering ending the date right then and there, I decided to continue.

Though this was where things would get harder.

Much harder.

I took another sip from my wine.

Man, the expensive stuff really did taste better than the cheap stuff I usually bought.

“So what happened after you moved out?” Cole asked. “Were you gone for long? Or did you go home pretty quickly?”

“I didn’t really see my parents for the next year. Though I wish I’d gone right back,” I said. Things would have certainly been a lot easier to deal with if I’d had my parents holding my hand through it all. “I ended up living with that boyfriend for several months. And things were all right at first. He wasn’t prince charming or anything, but he treated me well enough. But right before we were supposed to graduate, I found out that I was pregnant.”

Cole’s dark brown eyes widened, and I saw a million questions in them. But I knew if I didn’t keep going, I wouldn’t be able to finish.

“It was a surprise,” I said. “I’d been on the pill since my parents found out I was sexually active, but I must have missed a dose or something. I didn’t know how long I’d been pregnant at first, since I had always been irregular, but I ended up going to the doctor and she told me I was a lot further along than I expected. The baby was already, like, twenty weeks along and it was a girl.”

My throat closed up as I remembered that time in my life and everything that had happened afterward.

“D-did something happen to the baby?” Cole asked in a cautious voice. “Or did…” His voice drifted off like he was afraid to ask his question.

But it was obvious that somethinghadhappened since I was here now and didn’t have a seven-year-old daughter hiding away at my mom’s house.

So I pulled up my big-girl pants and tried to find a way to get through this next part without crying. Because thinking about it always made me cry.

“I was far enough along that I knew I couldn’t have an abortion even though my boyfriend at the time was pushing me to find a doctor that would give me one,” I said, remembering how dark that time had been for me.

The anxiety in Cole’s eyes dissipated slightly. I could tell that he was relieved I hadn’t purposely hurt my baby.

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