Page 64 of Friend Zone to End Zone

I had finally shown Cole the most secret parts of me, and at least so far, he hadn’t turned on me.

After a few more moments, I wiped beneath my eyes, hoping my mascara wasn’t completely ruined. “When you brought me here tonight you probably weren’t expecting any of this now, were you?”

He lifted his shoulders. “No. But I’m grateful you told me. I know it was hard.”

I gave him a small smile. “Luckily I did that tutorial about how to keep your makeup from becoming a disaster when you’re crying, huh?”

“Yes. Good thing you did your research beforehand.” Cole chuckled lightly, breaking the tension in a much needed way.

“That video had a surprising number of views, believe it or not.” I sat up straighter and pulled away so I could see him better.

He studied my face for a moment, and I must not have followed the tutorial directions perfectly because he reached a thumb to wipe away some stray makeup at the corner of my eye. “You looked just as beautiful in that video as you do tonight.”

“You watched it?”

He nodded and gave me a cautious look before saying, “I watch every video you make.”

“You do?” I asked, having a hard time believing my videos were interesting enough to a guy to hold his attention for very long. “You know you really don’t have to do that.” I let out a shaky breath, peering into his brown eyes that were feeling more and more like home to me as the night went on. “I would still call you my best friend even if you didn’t watch any of my videos.”

“I know.” His eyes grew softer—more vulnerable than they’d been a minute before. “But I like watching them.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I’m not @ariannasbiggestfan just because we’re besties.”

My insides flipped with his words, and there was something in the way he was looking at me that scared me.

Because it made me think of impossible dreams.

It made me remember all the things I sometimes thought about but never let myself seriously consider because I knew they wouldn’t end happily.

He kissed my forehead, and a rush of emotions flooded me as I realized just how much I liked this part of him.

I loved it when he was tender with me.

Loved it when he held me close and made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.

But I couldn’t be the only girl for him, could I? Because we wanted different things.

He wanted to settle down. He wanted a family. Wanted kids.

And I couldn’t give him any of those things.

I wasn’t strong enough to risk putting myself through that again. And even if I was, I didn’t deserve to try.

My stupid actions—the drugs the alcohol and all my other reckless behavior—had contributed to all the problems with Harper. It would be selfish to think I could just forget her and have a redo with another baby.

I needed to lighten the mood and break the tension that had fallen over us again, so I asked, “Is that the reason you kept your hair long for so many years? Because you secretly liked to do my hair tutorials with me?”

“You know it.” He shook his head and chuckled, giving me a look that told me I was being ridiculous.

“Sorry I made you cut your hair.” And before I could stop myself, I was running my fingers through the soft edges of his hair. “It really was beautiful.”

“I can always grow it back if I want.” He leaned his cheek into my hand. “But I actually like it better this way.”

His cheek was warm against my palm, and in that moment, I remembered the other time my fingers had touched his face—gotten lost in his hair. And I suddenly wanted to know what it would be like to kiss him again.

I’d told myself it was wrong to relive that night so many times when I’d gone back to Chad, but now…I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d remembered the softness of his lips right.

Or if all those butterflies I remember feeling had been real.

Was it really possible for someone who had only ever been your best friend to actually be the one person who could light your whole world on fire?

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