Page 74 of The Charade

"I know." I sighed into her mouth, my heart racing so fast it felt like it might explode.

Our kisses grew deeper and longer, the movement of our hands on each other slowing down, and my whole body ached for her. I wanted more.

I moved my hands down her back, slipping them down along the underside of her thighs. And then bracing the weight of her body in my hands I stood from the chair, carrying her with me and laying her on my bed.

I didn't have plans for anything more than kissing, since I didn't want to rush things, but when she looked up at me with heavy lidded eyes as I lay on the bed beside her, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to take things all the way with Ava.

From what she'd said the first time she came to my room, it didn't sound like she’d slept with a guy before. So if we ever took that step, it probably wouldn't be for a long time down the road.

But I liked the idea of experiencing that first with her someday.

Not because I was some hormonal teenager who just wanted to have sex because guys were genetically wired to reproduce—though I was sure my hormones had something to do with it since I was definitely still a guy who noticed that Ava was a woman. But if we ever took that step, it would be because it would be withher. It would be special. It would actually mean something.

I shook those thoughts away. Here I was just barely kissing this girl for the second time in my life after only telling her a few seconds ago that I was falling for her, and I was already hoping for months and years ahead together.

It was insane, wasn't it?

But that was the magic of being around Ava Cohen, I guess. She made me want a future like that. A future where I got to spend my days laughing with her, growing into a better person alongside her, and building a lifetime of memories with her.

And when she reached her arms around my shoulders and back and pressed her body against mine until there was barely enough space left for me to breathe, I had a feeling that I might not just be falling for her, I might have already fallen.

29

Ava

Is this real?I wondered as Carter deepened our kiss further, sending my mind off into a frenzy where anything before or after this moment didn't exist anymore. There was only now. Only me and Carter. And only this magical feeling that I knew I would crave for the rest of my life.

I suddenly understood why people could get addicted to drugs or alcohol or sex, because once you experienced such euphoria, you knew just exactly how amazing you could feel and how you would want to suddenly rearrange all of your plans just to get your next fix.

I was in the middle of a kissing session with Carter, but already I was wondering when the next time would be that I could kiss him.

Like, was his schedule already full for the weekend and I would I have to wait several days until I could find myself tangled up in his arms again? Or was he free tomorrow for lunch so I could get a quick fix in the library stacks after scarfing down a bite to eat?

Regardless of how long I had to wait, though, I knew that this needed to happen again. I needed to kiss Carter as often and long as possible.

"We'll probably need to leave in a few minutes so you're not late for curfew," Carter said, briefly breaking the lock he had on my lips.

"I know." I sighed, taking a much-needed deep breath. "But not a second sooner, okay?"

He grinned, his smile reaching his eyes as he said, "Deal."

He started kissing me again, and as he led my lips in the exchange so hot it was turning my mind to goo, his hands crept along the hem of my shirt and smoothed up across the ridges of my ribcage. I'd never had a boy touch my skin there before, never wanted a guy to become so familiar with me until this very moment, but as his fingers ran across the sensitive skin of my stomach, sparks of electricity sizzled all over my core before spreading to my toes.

It felt incredible.

So freaking incredible.

His hand traveled across my hips and along my back. And as my nerve endings reacted and blood flowed to every part that he touched, I wanted to erase every molecule of air that separated us. I wanted there to be no space where we weren't connected.

When he rolled me onto my back and covered my body with his, I instinctively arched into him, needing to feel that contact between our bodies. Carter was all hard, lean muscle, and I reveled in everything that he was. He felt amazing. He smelled amazing. And the fact that he seemed to be as into me as I was into him boggled my mind.

If you were to ask me on that first day of school after he'd had me sign that contract if I'd ever see myself doing anything remotely close to kissing Carter Hastings, I would have laughed in your face. But here we were, making out on his bed less than a month into the school year, and he was suddenly the only guy I ever wanted to do this with for the rest of my life.

I knew that once I was back in my room tonight and separated from this intoxicating feeling, that I'd probably think I was crazy for wanting to give all my firsts to a guy I met in high school—to think about building a life together and eventually having babies together. But my current frame of mind didn't care about logic; it only cared about making sure moments like this kept on happening for the rest of my existence.

It was possible for seventeen-year-olds to fall in love and eventually get their own happily-ever-after, wasn't it? Those kinds of things didn't just happen in books and movies, right?

Of course I wouldn't talk about wanting anything like that with Carter right now, probably wouldn't even mention it to Elyse since most people considered that line of thinking as insane.

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