Page 97 of The Charade

"But Carter…" I sighed, feeling my resolve wilting like a dahlia that had seen too much sun.

Because even though I knew I shouldn't, I wanted to do exactly what Carter was saying.

I wanted to have one last memory before everything was taken away from us.

"Just one last night," he whispered, his hot breath on my neck. "One last moment to remember what might have been if the universe was kind."

My heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest. Because until my mom confirmed my worst nightmare, I couldn't get in trouble for feeling the way I did, could I?

And so, even though the logical part of my brain knew I shouldn't, I gave him the slightest nod.

Carter cradled my head in his hand and whispered, "I love you, Ava. Even if everything changes after tonight, I just want you to know that I love you—not as a brother, but as a mere mortal man who fell under the spell of a goddess."

A tear escaped my eye because I knew this was a goodbye. It was the last time I'd ever be able to admit my true feelings for him. So I whispered, "I love you too, Carter."

His lips descended on mine then, and as he led our mouths in a slow and passionate kiss, I felt my heart ripping apart inside me. It slowly unraveled like a ribbon, because this kiss was not a promise of more good things to come. It wasn't like any of our previous kisses that burst with the excitement and anticipation of a future we could have together.

No. This was the kiss of death—the death of all my hopes and dreams where Carter and me and the future I still selfishly wanted were concerned.

His arms slid more firmly around my waist and he pulled me against him. He was solid and strong, but even though he was both of those things, he was also mortal and vulnerable to the same overwhelming feelings I was susceptible to.

In other words, he was human. Imperfect and only able to be tempted so far before he inevitably fell.

We were both falling.

I wondered if this was how Adam and Eve felt in the Garden of Eden. To know that the consequences of their actions would affect them for the rest of their lives, but to still fall to the temptation standing right before them because not giving in was worse than forever living without.

Eve offered Adam the forbidden fruit, and not wanting to be without his other half, the woman born from his rib, he tasted the fruit and exiled himself to an eternity where he could no longer live in the beautiful, lush garden—the only home he'd ever known.

It made me wonder about the person who had named Eden Falls. Had they somehow known that this town, this little paradise, had something brimming in the air? Something unseen that made its inhabitants act out in ways they normally wouldn't?

Was that what had happened to my mom? Had she come back to Eden Falls and gotten caught up in its spell only to wake up the next morning and realize too late that she’d done something she hadn't really meant to? Something she couldn't continue?

Carter's hands flattened against my back, and when he flicked his tongue along my lips, I opened my mouth to his. If I was already falling to temptation, I might as well make the most of it.

I knotted my hands in his hair as tears trickled down my cheeks, telling him with my kiss all the things I'd never be able to speak aloud after we were torn apart:I love you, Carter. I love you, and I don't care that I shouldn't. I don't care that loving you like this is wrong because loving you makes me feel more alive than not.

41

Carter

I slippedmy hands up Ava's back, tangled my fingers in her hair, and let myself memorize everything about how she felt in my arms as we kissed. Because if things went the way we feared tonight, the only time I'd be kissing her again would be in my dreams.

So this needed to be a goodbye kiss. It was one last opportunity to reveal how we truly felt before we were forced to lock away our feelings for the rest of our lives. This was most likely the last chance I'd be allowed to fully appreciate this beautiful creature who had wiggled her way into my heart over the past six weeks.

But even though I'd asked Ava for just one last stolen kiss, I knew deep in my core that this would never be enough.

I would still crave to be with her every second for the rest of my life. These moments alone with her were the times where I felt most alive—most like the person I was supposed to be—the most like my true self.

She might be my sister,I tried to tell myself as I pulled her closer when I should have been pushing her away.My own flesh and blood.

But I might as well have been speaking a foreign language because those words meant nothing to me.

Absolutely nothing.

I trailed kisses across her jawline, burrowed my face into the curve of her neck, and breathed in her intoxicating scent as I smoothed my hands up her sides and tried to brand it into my memory.

Because this would be the last time I'd ever be able to touch her like this again, when I could still claim to not reallyknowanything romantic between us was forbidden.

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