Page 103 of Knot All that Glitters: Part 1

He lets out a humorless laugh and squeezes the back of his neck. “You don’t know us, Haven.”

Oh, ouch.

Tic sees the pain on my face and he gives me this helpless look. “You don’t, angel. I know you think you do, but we’re not always the men we present to you.”

“Are you saying you’ve lied to me?”

Tic stares hard at me. Calculating again, I realize, trying to figure out what to tell me. I wonder if he’s trying to figure out how to make this line of questioning go away or trying to figure out how to give me a truthful answer. I don’t find out, becausejust as he opens his mouth, Hale strides in, looking hot in a pair of low-slung jeans and nothing else. He pauses when he sees us; me draped in Tic’s shirt, Tic bare naked and obviously upset.

I’m upset too, but I’ve slipped on that mask that feels like a second skin. The one I wear when in public, when I have to convince the public that I believe my father’s lies. Of course, controlling my expression doesn’t help when my scent gives away what I’m feeling. It’s rare I miss the suppressants, but at times like these I do.

“I really hope that’s not the case, Tic,” I say, ignoring the way Hale is looking between us with a furrow in his brow. I wonder what Tic is broadcasting to him through the bond. A warning?

“Everyone lies,” Tic mutters. An answer, but not a real one.

My stomach drops and I’m sure my mask drops with it.

Hale rushes forward, coming to stand in front of me.

His big hands cup my face, making me look at him, meet his eyes. “What’s going on? Why are you upset?”

I try to shake my head, to throw him off, but he doesn’t let me go. “Tell me.”

Red flushes my cheeks. Embarrassment. I’m always embarrassed around these alphas, always feeling like I’m doing something wrong by being honest with them. Telling them how I feel. That feeling only grows the longer we go without them reciprocating.

“Little mouse,” he says, the words a low growl. “Use that voice I gave back to you and tell me.”

“It’s nothing,” I say at the same time Tic says, “she asked about bonding.”

My eyes slip closed. That’s not the part I’m upset about. But I suppose it’s the root of the hurt, so sure, why not just go with it?

“Why is that upsetting to you, mouse?”

Unable to meet his gaze, I close my eyes and lick my lips before answering. “It’s just more of the same, isn’t it? None of you can give me a straight answer about anything. I asked about bonding, because…. Well, I want that. I do, with my whole heart, but it doesn’t seem like any of you are interested. And when I call you on it… its vague references to how I might regret it in the future, how you don’t think I’msureenough. I don’t know what I can do to convince you, I am sure, and I won’t regret it.”

“So now you think we don’t actually want you,” Hale says. Not a question, but a statement like he knows that to be the truth.

“You want me, but you don’t want to keep me.”

“Bullshit.”

My eyes fly open to find Hale glaring at me. “Utter bullshit, little mouse.”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is, angel.”

“We can want to keep you and want to make sure that you don’t regret it, Haven. The two things aren’t mutually exclusive. You don’t know what a bond is like, but we can feel each other’s emotions, can feel hurt or anger or…”

“I understand that,” I snap, curling my hands around Hale’s wrists to dislodge them from my cheeks. “I get that you would feel if I was angry with you or hurt, but you’d also feel how much I fucking love you! Wouldn’t that be worth it?”

I pause, eyes wide, cheeks flaring red as I realize what I just shouted at them. This isn’t a mid sex confession that can be chalked up to hormones and pleasure. This is a genuine confession. The absolute truth.

I love them. All of them. I love them with my whole heart. And Tic and Hale are just staring at me in silence.Again. Just like when I told Hale before. There is no response, just a flickerof shock and unease on their faces before they shutter their expressions.

“Don’t say shit like that, mouse,” Hale grits out. “Not now.”

“Then when?” I shout back, fist clenched at my side. “When would be the right time to tell you how I feel? You keep saying I should use my voice, but when I do you act like-” I wave a hand at them, at their still stony expressions. “You know what? It’s fine,” I mutter, even though it’s not.It’s not fine.

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