Page 93 of Knot All that Glitters: Part 1

Hale drapes a blanket over the both of us and then takes the spot near our feet, sliding his hand onto my ankle, then up my calf and back.

I thought we were going to talk about a plan, but maybe the only plan they really have is to keep me here with them, safe behind their fence and security system. It’ll work for the short term, but eventually I’ll need to come up with something else. I don’t want to be stuck here. I want to live a normal life, go out and see the world.

But when Tic and Creed join us after tidying the kitchen, Tic plops onto the floor in front of us, and flicks on the TV, turning it to a reality TV show that I’m sure none of them actually watches. But I do.

It’s not Alpha Love Getaway. But it’s pretty close.

A deep feeling of contentment has me sighing and snuggling closer to Jude. Tic tips his head back to eye me from where he’s sitting on the floor in front of the couch, a soft smile on his face. “Everything good, angel?”

Another contented sigh as I nod. “This is nice. Really nice.”

Hale squeezes my calf before his thumb strokes soft circles into my skin. “That’s good, little mouse,” he murmurs.

“No, really. It’s the best. The last few weeks have been… hard.”

Jude strokes a hand up and down my spine as his lips find the top of my head. “I’m sorry, button.”

I snort and shake my head. “Don’t be. It’s not you guys. You’re perfect.” I think I might be a little loopy, a little over excited from being able to talk to them again, because I just keep going. “It’s the thousands of commands my father’s put on me over the years. “

Hale’s thumb stops tracing circles. Underneath me, Jude goes still, his hand pressed between my shoulder blades. Tic’s soft gaze goes hard, and across the room where he’s seated in an armchair watching the rest of us, Creed shifts forward. “What?”

“Thousands?”

Shit.Shit.

I’m not supposed to say anything about that. I have no idea how it even snuck out. Yesterday I broke through the command about not talking to them, but everything else is still firmly in place. The telltale ache behind my eyes is letting me know I just fucked up.

It’s so stupid. It shouldn’t hurt. They already know he’s commanded me to do things, controlled my every action. Theyknow, but I didn’t tell them. Until now.

I’ve never told anyone about what my father does to me. Not even Ren knows the extent. She suspects. I know she does because we’ve known each other for years. But I’m not supposed to tell anyone anything about it. It’s one of the standing commands, just like his ‘do not embarrass me’ command.

I need to take the words back, to make them somehow unsaid, but I can’t. I can’t. They’re out there now and they know and oh god. My chest tightens, my lungs struggle to take a full breath. I bolt upright, making Hale and Jude’s hands fall from my body.

“It’s nothing,” I say with a laugh, trying to cover it up, like it’s not a big deal, but it is a big fucking deal. How could thousands of alpha commands not be a big deal? “It’s nothing,” I repeat as I scramble off Jude, dodging hands, unable to bear the feel of them at the moment.

I hurry across the room, the farthest point from all of them. “It’s normal. Alphas, sometimes they just… It needs to be done to keep omegas under control. I-I need help to keep my instincts under control.”

I wince as I say the words, spouting the same bullshit my father does. I hate the words. Hate that I just uttered them. I don’t believe them. From the glares coming from the four alphas around me, they don’t like them either. But I can’t stop the absolute shit flowing from my mouth in a desperate attempt to keep the migraine at bay.

Having another one right now, so close on the heels of breaking through one of my father’s commands? It never happened before and I don’t want to see how long it’ll knock me on my ass for.

I’m pacing now, unable to look at them, not able to meet their eyes. “He just… he just does it to keep me safe.” I choke on the words.Literally choke.I can’t get enough air. Everything I’m saying right now is because of the commands my father has given me. This is me scrambling to fix it.

It doesn’t help the fresh migraine building behind my eyes, rattling my skull.

My hand slams into my forehead, like that will make the burgeoning headache dislodge, make the commands that put me into this state to dislodge. It doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t. The only thing it serves to accomplish is making me hiss in pain. I do it again anyway. And again. Because I fucking hate every single one of his commands, there has never been one that was actually for my safety.

A warm hand curls around my wrist, stopping me from smacking my forehead again. “Stop, omega,” Hale says gently, no bark in the command. “Stop. Don’t hurt yourself.”

I look up at him with wide eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks, and the migraine building and building and building. “It hurts,” I whisper. “When I go against one of his commands, it hurts.”

He nods, sliding his hand to the back of my neck. “I know, little mouse.” He glances up, looking at his pack mates, before he looks back at me in determination. “I can help, if you’ll let me.”

My brow furrows. As far as I know, there isn’t a way for him to help. I just have to get through it. His fingers knead into the tight muscles of my neck. Waiting for me to give my approval.

“How?” I ask instead.

He meets my gaze steadily. “I’d need to bark at you.”

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