Janey's hands are over her mouth, just her glittering eyes peeking at me. "She's crazy," she mumbles into her hands.
"Not news."
"She didn't mention your rash. I um... Sorry. None of my business."
"I don't have a fucking rash!"
"Oh. Good. That's good. I'm just going to—" she waves towards Becca's retreating form and takes a few steps away. "For what it's worth, I can see what drew you to her. She's got a core of steel. But she also seems so… tired. I think she could use someone to ease the burden, even if she's not the type to ask."
Janey hurries after Becca, leaving me alone. Finally. My family's scattered around town, shopping and doing fuck knows what else. I don't really care. My feet feel heavy as I cross the street, each step bringing me closer to her. The late morning sun catches in her hair, turning the edges red. She's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, studying me with those storm-grey eyes that have haunted my dreams for twenty-five years.
I stop a few feet away. My fingers itch to reach for her, to pull her against my chest and feel her heart beat next to mine. To bury my face in her hair and breathe her in. But I keep my hands at my sides, letting her set the pace.
She watches me, her expression unreadable. I wish I could crack open her skull and peek inside, see what she's thinking. Is she as affected by my presence as I am by hers? Does her skin hum with electricity when I'm near?
Maybe she doesn't feel any of it. That's the worst thing I could imagine. That I'm in this alone, and there's no chance for us.
The silence stretches between us, comfortable yet charged with possibility. There's more yelling in the distance, but neither of us breaks eye contact.
Finally, Blair pushes off the wall. "I should head home and check on Maggie and Max." She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, a gesture so familiar it makes my chest ache. "Want to walk with me?"
"Yes," I say, with not even a millisecond of hesitation. I don't care if I sound eager. Let her see how much I want to be near her. Hiding anything from her at this point would work against me.
Blair's lips curl into a small smile, and we start down the sidewalk. Her shoulder brushes against my bicep with each step, sending jolts of electricity through my body. I stuff my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching for her.
"I'm sorry about my family showing up like this. They mean well, but subtlety isn't exactly?—"
"They're protective of you. I get it." Blair's voice carries that familiar calm. "Becca and Janey seem... interesting."
"Did they say something to upset you? Because I'll?—"
"Ransom." She stops walking, turning those storm-grey eyes on me. "You should know by now that I'm not the type to let anyone influence what I want. Especially not two women I just met today."
My heart skips. "And what do you want?"
"That's the problem." She starts walking again. "I've built a life here. It works. I'm not sure I want to disrupt that."
"We don't have to put pressure on anything." The words taste like ash in my mouth, but I force them out. If I had my way, I’d be putting a ring on her finger this afternoon. "We can take it slow, figure things out as we go. But isn't the chance at something great worth the effort?"
We're passing the firehouse when movement catches my eye. A guy in navy pants and a t-shirt waves at Blair from inside. She lifts her hand in a small wave back.
My jaw clenches so hard it hurts. "Adam?"
"Yes."
"I really hate that guy." I meet his eyes, and imagine strangling him to death, slowly, with his own intestines. He shakes his head and turns back to the hose he was coiling.
The urge to march into that firehouse and introduce my fist to his face is almost overwhelming.
"You're angry." Blair's eyes narrow. "You have no right to be angry."
"I know I don't." The words scrape out of my throat. "But fuck, Blair. Adam?"
"What's wrong with Adam?"
"Nothing. Everything." I run my hands through my hair, tugging at the strands. "He got to be with you in ways I never..."
"Don't." Her voice carries that steel edge I remember. "You don't get to be jealous. You left."