Page 122 of Ransom

"To protect you. And I've regretted it every day since." I step closer, close enough to see the flecks of blue in her grey eyes. "I wanted it to be me. Your first time should have been with me."

"My first time?" She laughs, but there's no humor in it. "You think I waited until Adam?"

The words hit like a physical blow. "No, I... I just meant—" But I did think that. Even though I imagined she might have gotten married and had a family, I never let myself picture hermaking those kids. Or loving any other man. It's selfish as fuck, but I wanted her to love me, and only me, always.

"What? That you wish you'd been my first? That you had that claim on me?" She crosses her arms. "I was almost eighteen when you left, Ransom. Young and hurt and angry. Do you really think I spent the next twenty-five years saving myself for you?"

"Christ, no. That's not what I..." I drag my hand down my face. "I wanted us to experience that together. To learn each other. To be each other's firsts. It's stupid and possessive and I have no right, but knowing Adam gets to touch you now..."

"Gets to touch me?" Her eyes flash. "Nobody gets to touch me. I choose who I'm with. And right now, I choose Adam. Because he's uncomplicated. Because he doesn't make demands. Because he doesn't make me feel like my world is spinning off its axis every time he looks at me."

My control snaps. I grab Blair's shoulders and pull her against me, my fingers pressing into her skin through her shirt. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you feel nothing when I touch you."

Her breath catches. This close, I can see her pulse jumping in her throat. "Ransom?—"

"Tell me Adam makes your heart race like this." I slide one hand up to cup her neck, my thumb brushing over that wild pulse. “Tell me simple and uncomplicated is better than this.”

"Stop." But her hands fist in my shirt, pulling me closer instead of pushing away.

"You're trying to push me away with words, but your body's screaming something else entirely." I lean down until our foreheads touch. "I feel it too. Like electricity under my skin. Like I can't breathe right unless you're near me."

"It doesn't matter what I feel."

"It matters to me." I brush my lips against her temple. "It's always been you, Blair. Even when I was trying to forget you,even when I was with other women — it was always you I wanted."

She shudders against me. "You’re so confusing."

"I’m just being honest." My fingers thread through her hair beneath the braid. "Tell me you don't feel more with me than you've ever felt with anyone else. Tell me I'm wrong."

"I can't." The words come out broken, barely a whisper. "You know I can't."

Blair steps back, breaking our connection. The loss of her warmth hits like a physical blow. She tosses her braid back over her shoulder and starts walking again.

My eyes drift to the firehouse where Adam still stands, watching. He shakes his head, a hint of a smile playing at his lips, then disappears back inside. Smug bastard.

I follow Blair, keeping a few steps behind, trying to get my body and emotions under control. The walk to Maggie's feels endless.

Max sits in the front yard, surrounded by dirt and wielding a plastic bucket like a weapon. Water sloshes over the sides as he dumps it into a hole.

"What're you doing there, buddy?"

"Making quicksand." Max doesn't look up from his work. "For the zombies."

"Zombies?"

"They only come out at night. But they're stupid. They'll fall right in." He pats the mud with satisfaction. "Plus, worms like it."

Blair's lips twitch. "Does your mom know you're making zombie traps?"

"She said no explosives. This isn't explosives."

I can't help but laugh. "Kid's got a point."

"I'll check on Maggie." Blair heads inside, leaving me with Max.

"Want to help?" He holds out a muddy shovel.

"Sure." I crouch down beside him. "But why zombies? Why not... dinosaurs?"

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