Page 148 of Ransom

"I'm not?—"

"Cut the bullshit," Maverick interrupts. "We've watched you carry whatever this is for twenty-five years. Time to spill."

"There's nothing to?—"

"Ransom." Colton's voice is quiet but firm. "We're your family. Let us help."

I look at their faces—these men who went from strangers to brothers. Who built an empire with me. Who trust me with their lives, their dreams, their fears. And here I am, still keeping secrets.

The fight drains out of me. I drop to my ass on the track, wiping sweat from my face.

"You want the whole story?" I ask.

Every head nods in unison.

"It's not a happy one."

"We kind of already figured that," Nick says, tucking his hands in his pockets. Everyone spreads out, some sitting on the track, some of the women taking a seat on the weight benches Colton and Zach carry over.

I don't want to do this. I don't want to see the way they look at me change. But they're right. It's not fair that I'm keeping secrets.

But I don't know how to start. How do I explain?

Sucking in a deep breath, then letting it out slowly, I just lay it out there.

"When I was eleven, I killed my family."

I tiptoe across the creaky floorboards, my heart pounding in my chest. The pile of clothes I stashed earlier clutched tightagainst me. Man, this is gonna be awesome. Just gotta make it outta here without waking anyone up.

I freeze as my sisters stir in their bunk beds. Our house is really small. And at eleven, I'm way too old to be sharing a room with my little sisters, but I don't think my family's ever gonna get out of this neighborhood or this house. Mom said we can try and put a curtain up, but that isn't going to keep them from touching my stuff. Girls are so annoying. They don't wake up though, thank God. I inch towards the door, careful not to bump into anything in the dark.

I step carefully on the thin carpet in the hallway. The floor is squeaky as hell, and if I'm going to get caught, it's going to be here, on the stairs. Mom keeps asking Dad to fix the squeak, but Dad's no sucker. He told her that he's going to leave the squeak so us kids don't get any kind of ideas about sneaking out.

It's not going to work. I know every squeaky spot. I have for years. Mom and Dad have a lot of opinions about what's appropriate for me to watch on TV. So I sneak down and watch after they've gone to bed. I've been doing it for years.

Tonight though? That's different. Tonight, I have big plans, so every step feels really heavy. The stairs are the worst part. Each step could give me away. I take 'em slow, one at a time, praying I don't mess up.

Finally, I'm in the kitchen. Stripping right there, I leave my pajamas in a little bundle under the kitchen table, then grab my supplies from the fridge. Putting the frying pan on the burner, I flip on the gas stove, the soft hiss breaking the silence. Butter sizzles in the pan as I lay down the bread. The smell of melting cheese fills the air. My stomach growls, but I ignore it. I'm always hungry. Mom says my leg is hollow. I don't really know what that means, but she smiles and shakes her head when she says it, so it must not be bad. But these aren't just for me. Theguys asked me to bring snacks, and since the girls ate the last bag of chips, this will have to do.

Besides, grilled cheese, even if they're a bit cold by the time we eat them, are a million times better than chips.

I'm pretty proud of myself, learning to cook and all. Mom's face when I serve her dinner... man, that's the best. But tonight's about somethin' else. Tonight's about adventure.

But the guys are still going to be impressed. I know it.

Flicking the knob on the stove off, I yank the towel off the stove handle and wipe my greasy fingers, toss it on the counter next to the stove, then hurry and wrap the sandwiches in paper towels and stuff them in my backpack. My palms are sweaty with excitement. We're gonna check out that abandoned house, maybe even smoke some cigarettes if Joey managed to swipe some from his old man. And those magazines... I've never seen a naked girl before. My face burns just thinkin' about it.

My house keys in my hand, I reach for the doorknob, then freeze. Was that a noise upstairs? I wait, hardly daring to breathe. Nothing. False alarm. I turn the knob slowly, wincing at every tiny sound.

The cool night air hits my face as I step outside. Freedom. I did it. I'm out. My friends are waiting just down the block. My heart's racing, but not from fear anymore. This is gonna be the best night ever.

Before I leave, I lock the door. This is a shitty neighborhood filled with lots of nice people, and a few really bad guys, and an unlocked door is like waving a red flag at a bull.

No one's getting to my family tonight. They'll stay safe and never know I was even gone.

I trudge down the street, my feet heavy with exhaustion. Nothing went like we planned—Joey chickened out and didn't take his dad's magazines, and we ended up just hangin' around inside that stupid house. It wasn't as cool as I thought itwould be. It smelled kinda like shit. I'm pretty sure someone was squatting in there, but luckily we didn't see anyone. My sandwiches were fucking awesome, though. But I'm not sure sneaking out was worth it. I'm only going to get a few hours of sleep before breakfast, so I'm going to fall asleep at school, guaranteed.

Rounding the corner onto my block, my heart stops.

---