Page 62 of Ransom

"I have to," I mutter.

"Do you? Really? Because it sounds like there's a fuck of a lot more to it. How did you feel seeing her again? Was it what you expected? I mean, she's a fucking knockout. Was she like that at seventeen?"

Was she a knockout? "She was all arms and legs back then. She was tall, really tall when I first met her. At twelve, I was big for my age, but I still had to look way up to her when I met her. And I didn't fucking like that at all. I caught up the next year, and the year after that, I was a bit taller than her. I used to try and tease her about it."

"Try?"

"Yeah, she's always been a little different. She never reacted the way the other girls did. There was no squealing or yelling. She was like a duck on a pond. Everything still on the surface. It took me a long time to figure out there was a lot more than I knew going on underneath the water."

"She sounds like a bit of an enigma," he says, sighing. "My favorite kind of woman. Bree's like that. She has this way of disappearing on me while she's in the same room with me, and I know she's got so much spinning through her mind. I like being able to help her calm it. Or be the one she talks it out with."

"We used to spend hours just talking. We'd sit on this bench in the town square until curfew. Some nights, I didn't want to go home. Sitting there with her felt like… everything."

"So when you saw her again, was it the same?"

"Aside from the fucking wrench and worrying she might come at me? Fuck, yeah, it was the same. I thought… well, it doesn't matter what I thought. She's not going to leave this town."

"Dios," he mutters. "You were hoping she would."

"I didn't—" A wave of realization washes over me. How the hell have I been so blind? "Fuck. I think I did." My family's in Chicago. My responsibilities. I need to be there for them, to take care of everyone. And he's right. Some sick part of me wanted her to sell, so she would be free.

Free to be with me.

"You're still in love with her." There's no question in his voice. It's a statement of fact. But he's wrong.

"I can't be. I don't know her anymore. She's lived a whole life without me. We're both different people." I don't entirely believe myself, but logically, who the fuck finds the love of their life when they're fifteen? "It was easier to hang onto the idea of her. She stayed this perfect memory, and I could compare every other woman to her."

"And nobody else measured up."

"No, they didn't."

"And now that you've seen her… does this version of her live up to the Blair you had in your head all these years?"

"She's different," I admit. "But not in a bad way. She grew into her body. She's so fucking beautiful. And her eyes? They're as stunning as they ever were. She's stunning."

"But you're not in love with her?"

I don't answer. I can't. Because it doesn't matter if I love her. It doesn't matter that she's the woman I dream about every night of my life. I broke things between us, and as much as I might wish I could fix them, I can't picture it. She's never leaving this town.

And I won't abandon my family.

I wouldn't survive it.

Not again.

"Look, man, why don't you stay a bit longer?" Nick suggests. "Spend some more time with Blair. Work her out of your system. Prove to yourself there's really nothing left there."

My heart races at the thought. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

I can't bring myself to say it out loud, but the truth is, I'm terrified. Terrified that what I feel is all too real. That if I stay, I might never want to leave. And that would mean giving up the family I've built, the brothers who've become my whole world.

"Tomorrow's Friday. You know fuck all's going to get done tomorrow anyway." He's not wrong. There's a lot of distraction, bickering, and the occasional NERF war on Fridays. And Cara's already moved my appointments. Anything that has to be handled can be passed on to one of my brothers. "So take the day. Try and spend a little time with her, without the distraction of buying her garage between you. Find out who she is now. Just focus on tomorrow. That's it."

"It's not that simple, Nick."

"Sometimes it is. Life isn't really all that complicated. We're talking about you spending another day away from the office. It's just reconnecting with someone that used to matter to you. That's all. Anything else is just shit in your head clouding things."

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