Page 72 of Ransom

"How long?"

"Maybe six months. If I'm lucky." Her voice cracks slightly on the last word, and my chest tightens painfully.

"Fuck, Maggie. I'm so fucking sorry." The words feel inadequate, useless against the weight of what she's telling me.

"I am too. This wasn't how I thought life would turn out, you know. And without Blair, I don't know if I would have survived last time. It's too much this time, asking her to take care of me and of Max." She fidgets with the hem of her shirt, looking so far from the confident, vibrant woman I remember that a wave of dread washes through me. This is so fucking bad.

"I bet she doesn't see it that way. You were her family back then, Maggie. I doubt she feels any differently now." I lean forward, trying to catch her eye. Blair's loyalty runs bone-deep—I remember that much about her.

"No, she doesn't. But a person can only handle so much loss. Robert's only been gone a year, and now…" She doesn't finish the thought, but her unspoken words still hang in the air between us, heavy as lead.And now she's going to lose me.The silence that follows feels like a physical presence around my throat, suffocating and thick with grief.

I want to call in my helicopter and take her straight to the hospital. I want the best doctors in the world on her case. I want to force her to try again. Because she's right. Losing Robert, then losing Maggie? That's soul-destroying stuff right there.

I don’t want Blair’s soul destroyed. It’s too precious.

"Tell me about your son. Max?"

Her eyes are still glassy, but a small smile graces her lips. "Maxwell. He's six, and he's a complete lunatic."

"He sounds awesome. Tell me more. Where's his dad?"

She snorts and crumbles her muffin between her fingers. "He doesn't have one. My cancer came back nine years ago. It was harder than the first time, but I still beat it pretty easily. And after… I went a little wild. I went traveling and… well… got very friendly with several men in several countries. Basically, I whored my way through Europe. And nine months later, Max was born."

"And this was a happy thing, I take it?"

Maggie's smile is wry. "I was happy. Blair was not."

Blair always had very strong opinions about everything and everyone, except for the people she loved. If Maggie had told Blair she wanted to go to school to become a mime, Blair would have cheered her on. If she wanted to become a professional skydiver or join the circus, Blair would have supported her completely. So if Blair wasn’t supportive, there was a reason. For Blair, loving someone means loving everything about them, even the things that would normally bother her. “What was she worried about?"

"She was afraid my body wasn't strong enough." She winces and brushes muffin crumbs off her lap. "She wasn't wrong. I didn't think I could get pregnant. The chemo and radiation are hell on fertility. Hence the whoring. It seemed like a miracle, you know. Like getting pregnant was the silver lining in an otherwise cloud full of shit."

Noah's chubby hand and Mia's bright giggle flash through my mind. The pure joy those kids bring to everyone around them is indescribable. Every time I look at them, get to spend time with them, it feels like a gift, so I know exactly how Maggie feels about her son. "But you made it through."

"I did. Thanks to Blair. She moved in for the last few months of my pregnancy. Then stayed after he was born. It was only supposed to be for a few months, but newborns are no joke. And I was so tired all the time from the night feedings that it just made sense for her to come. Then she never left. We all still live together, except for a couple of weeks before Robert died. And when he was gone, I insisted she come back. I didn't want her living in that apartment all alone, surrounded by all his stuff."

All this time I've been imagining Blair in that apartment. I can picture every square inch of that place. But now, I can't imagine her curled up in her room or drinking coffee in that ugly kitchen. I don’t know her world anymore.

Why is that so fucking devastating?

"I'm glad she has you guys." I give Maggie's hand a squeeze, trying to ignore the way her skin feels paper-thin against mine. She flips hers over and clasps mine tightly, eyes wet with unshed tears that make my chest ache. I have to choke back the giant frog in my throat, fighting against the dread in my chest. "So she helped raise him?"

"Yeah. And she's great at it. I mean, she lets him eat pie for breakfast." Maggie lets out a wet laugh. "But she's always there for him, you know? She's so patient with him. So willing to teach him things. She's like the best dad ever. You should see them in the garage together—he's got his own little toolbox and everything."

"Sounds like Max is a really lucky kid." The words come out rough, and I can't help but think about how Blair's always beenthat way—steady and strong for everyone who needs her, even if they don't realize they do.

But the list of people Blair can depend on seems to be getting way too short.

"He is. We're both lucky."

Staring down at our hands, at Maggie's bony fingers, nails short and unpainted, I give her a truth I'm only coming to realize myself. "I never forgot her. Not for a day. But I could tell myself she's okay. She has a great support system and a community here. Then Robert came to see me and told me he was sick. And when I realized she was going to lose him, that lie I was telling myself started to fall apart." My throat feels tight, remembering that conversation with Robert, the way his hands shook as he held that coffee cup in my office.

"What's the lie, Ransom?" Maggie's voice is gentle, but there's steel underneath it. The same steel I've always admired in her, even now when she looks so fragile in that oversized sweater.

"That she would be better off without me. That me coming back would disrupt her life, and it was selfish to even think about it." She lets out a low sound, eyes locked on my face. I can't meet her gaze, can't handle the knowing look there. "I tried to throw money at it. Robert had me convinced that Blair needed freedom, needed a chance to choose her own life. And that obviously didn't fucking work." My fingers clench involuntarily around Maggie's hand, and I force myself to relax my grip, not wanting to hurt her.

"It still took you a year to come here after that meeting."

"Because I'm afraid I won't be able to leave this time."

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